* Yes, the garden. It occupies 110% (not a typo) of both sides of the front walk. It's beautiful,…read morefragrant, and astonishing. Many plants (including robust, HUGE ones) that I can't recall seeing anywhere before (not even at Olbrich or Butchart gardens). If the weather during my stay hadn't been muggy much of the time, I would have spent time relaxing out there (e.g., on the porch swing), doing nothing at all.
* The view. No, not even the best hosts in the world can take credit for that. Still, one must take that great, eternal, gorgeous Lake Mendota into consideration when deciding whether to stay here.
* The housekeeper: Her sweetness and friendliness is worth mentioning, even though only a very small detail.
* Parking: Not a problem for me. I suppose that, when the inn might be entirely full, and those who book all 7 rooms each have a car, then the loser of Musical Chairs on any given night (only 6 spots) will have to make sure to move their car by 10 am if they park in one of the two-hour spots on the street (as I opted to do the first night; no problem. And, although I forgot to check, I got the impression that some of East Gorham, along which the inn sits, MIGHT be unlimited parking.)
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Well, the negatives are just too many and significant not to share . . . but I always give credit where credit is due (see above), and the hosts most assuredly love and take pride in their home and inn, and have only the best intentions, and probably believe that they're providing nothing but quality:
* I booked the "Garden" Room -- as a single guest, and wanting the lowest price. Well, having now just revisited their website, shame on me (a little bit) for having assumed or thought that "lower level" meant the ground floor . . . and not the basement. Sure, "basement" isn't a very appealing word, but at least it would have amounted to something closer to truth in advertising. As another reviewer noted, the room is at the bottom of some challenging steps (at least, for me, at 71, with knee arthritis having recently deciding to enter a new and fun stage). Creaky steps. LOUD, creaky steps. (A sound that I also had to hear whenever the hosts and housekeeper were also presumably using them to get up and down occasionally. Oh, and I also really enjoyed the sound of floors creaking above me.)
* As for those quotation marks: Folks, what one sees out the window of the "Garden" Room is, mostly, an ugly window well. (If you didn't grow up with, or have never seen, window wells and don't know what they are, look it up.) I did also see SOME flora . . . but only a few dregs of something or other, just visible at soil level, above said window well.
* Breakfast: We put our choice of "custom" breakfast onto a slip that makes no mention of meat options. When I inquired, host David said, "Oh, we don't eat meat in this house" -- in the sort of "What could be more obvious or unimpeachable?" tone that sometimes gives us radical leftists a bad name. Well, among my many jobs as a young man was making TOFU. (As well, as, not long after, also making FUTONS. Must have been in my anagram phase.) So I know from vegetarianism. I understand and respect those who've made a solid commitment to it. Hurrah! Applause to you! Kudos. BUT IF "WE" NOT EATING MEAT ("IN THIS HOUSE") ACTUALLY MEANS "AND NEITHER WILL YOU", THEN FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S WHOLLY (unlike your disclosure) DISCLOSE THAT ON YOUR WEBSITE! (Sorry, guys, but "We offer options for vegetarian, gluten free and vegan diets" comes close, but alas, no cigar. This ain't horseshoes.)
* Not quite done! The site says that breakfast is "served 7-10 am" . . . when in fact only the continental-style stuff (which, FYI isn't really any better than at any decent motel chain) is available during those hours. HOT food is only served 7:30 to 8:30. And, it's only two choices (which is fine), but it's only those SAME two choices EVERY DAY: (i) Waffle (blueberries/whipped cream optional); or (ii) A scrambled EGG (with spinach in it, if you like). That's egg. Singular. And, well, not quite as firm or fully done as one might like. (Note my under-statement. Much like the UNDER-cooking.) And "hash browns"? Limp, pale, soggy.
* I had the waffle on my final morning -- good, but mine was only a complete breakfast because I included ham that I'd made a point of buying at a supermarket, and kept in my room fridge. (I also had it on day two, along with a lovely sticky bun I'd also bought elsewhere).
* The Phantom Host model is really only appropriate for the Airbnb crowd; not so much for a true B&B. OK, so this place is "hybrid" -- but at least come by, during the advertised breakfast hours, to the extent of checking to see that things like the half and half, and COFFEE, haven't run out! One shouldn't have to dig out their cell phone (mine isn't grafted onto my hand permanently) to call the hosts.
Thus, only the one star, notwithstanding the best of intentions.