The tale I am about to tell you is one of hope, tragedy, fear, disassociation, and disillusionment.
There was a time when I wanted--nay, craved--Thai Hut. I even had a favorite: pineapple fried rice with tofu. I would dream of that pineapple, I would dream of that tofu.
I now take us to February 27th, 2019. Pisces season. The moon, in a waning crescent phase. We are seated at approximately 5:38 pm. Me & my gals. Looking for some fried rice, looking for some curry.
The night starts normal enough. We order drinks, we order food.
A solid 35 minutes pass. We finally receive our Diet Coke & Thai Iced tea.
6:20 pm rolls around. We have somewhere to be, sure, but we're not stressed. Good things take time, as they say.
At a full hour into our wait, the salad finally arrives.
The entire table slowly picks at the one, lowly salad. We've run out of items to snack on. One of us begins to eat sugar packets; the other, licking the ginger dressing from the plate.
At approximately 6:48 pm, we're sure we're being ignored. While I've always thought that being ever so slightly abused was part of the upscale Asian-fusion dining experience, I've become anxious. Have they had to go find the nearest pineapple tree? God only knows where that is.
We near the two hour mark. Maniacal laughter has ensued. All our water cups are empty.
I should also mention that there are only about 5 other groups seated in the restaurant the entire time we are there.
At about 7:12 pm, our waitress comes over to let us know that our food is being worked on, that the chef had to go get pineapple. I suspect our beautiful, terrifying waitress heard us making pineapple tree jokes.
Also worth noting: the table beside us, who was seated around the same time as us, had pineapple on their plate.
Multiple parties have completed their dining experience, start to finish.
Have we been targeted? Is this--homophobic? 3/4th of our party are on the Kinsey scale. Could they smell the gay?
At 7:35 pm, we decide to get up and leave.
We ended up at St. Ives and had a good time. The Voice was on the TV there. I had a blue moon or two. Yum.
We are still really unsure if any of this was real, if we fell into some kind of purgatory or something.
Anyways, this was hands-down the worst dining experience I've ever had in my life. I feel, traumatized, somehow. I give Thai Hut one star though, because I didn't have to pay for my Thai Iced Tea and also because I don't think yelp will let me give zero stars.
Boycott Thai Hut 2019. Join the movement, join the resistance. read more