TW: Use of profane language by the doctor
I've hesitated on posting this because doctors have power and I didn't want to risk any retaliation by sharing this interaction. Still, she was so rude and presumptuous.
I've been a patient of this doctor for 2 years: I saw her once for my 2021 annual, and then again this year. During this year's exam, she suspected fibroids. Following that appointment, I have gone in 3 additional times for: a pelvic ultrasound, a hysteroscopy, and then she referred me to get a pelvic MRI. I saw her on 22 June 2022 to review the results of the MRI and go over treatment options for the fibroids.
I'm writing this to warn current and future patients of her unprofessional behavior. After reviewing the purpose of the visit (which I appreciated), she said she was going to list treatment options. The first thing she said was, "We can remove your uterus."
To confirm I heard her correctly, I repeated it back to her "Remove my uterus?" and she said immediately to me in a snippy tone, "Don't lose your sh*t! I had a sixth sense you were going to lose your sh*t. Just listen, ok."
I did not yell, scream or raise my voice when I asked this question. I was shocked at her behavior.
I got very quiet and nodded. I kind of shut down while still trying to process the information she presented. I'm a grown woman. I've never had any medical professional address me in such a way. In life and in my appointments, I ask questions in a calm, methodical way to make sure I understand.
If this were a male gynecologist who said this to me, I would have immediately gotten up and said the appointment was over. It was my mistake to take her abusive language and sit there quietly.
After listening to the information she presented, she asked, "You know your uterus is enlarged, right?" I said to her I didn't know because I don't know what the size of a regular uterus is supposed to be. She responded, "Ok, that's fair."
I'm not sure how or what she is judging to be "fair". I'm not a medical professional so my knowledge base is not the same as hers. It's part of her job to answer questions a patient has when discussing a condition or treatment, and to explain things in such a way a layperson understands to make an informed decision for their body.
This comment confirmed a couple of earlier interactions I had with her when she came across to me as arrogant, condescending and presumptuous and I, mistakenly, let those interactions slide. I would ask a clarifying question and she looked at me like I was stupid and said, "Yes, we're still talking about your fibroids and uterus. It's all one thing."
That was not my question. Her immediate response was telling and again my fault for not stopping and correcting her there.
I asked all the questions I could manage to remember while keeping my composure. It came across that I was wasting her time with my questions.
At the end of the appointment, still in some shock and not sure how to process or handle things, I said to her, "I'm sorry you think I was 'losing my sh*t' when I asked you a question to clarify."
She waved it off and said, "Yea, I get it, it's removing an organ."
She never apologized for her choice of words and behavior.
She then said, "I don't know what it is but I get a lot of patients who are into the holistic thing and they don't want surgeries or medications."
If she was frustrated during this appointment, she had many choices of how to respond without being condescending, sarcastic, cruel and out of touch.
She is quick to draw conclusions without having all the information, and is NOT keen to listen to the patient. My impression is that she immediately wants to box people into categories without fully taking in information.
I will not return to this practice. The only good thing to come of this was getting to interact with her nurse Jennifer. She was kind, communicative, had a warm personality and when she takes your blood, you don't even feel it.
We all know that doctors are under pressure from insurance companies to see X patients per day so they want to spend as little time as possible with each person. We're all under pressure from insurance companies in every way.
Still, if you're talking to a woman about possibly removing her uterus, it's a big decision. Her demeanor demonstrated a lack of compassion in more than one instance. And what's really disappointing is that she had so many choices of how to speak with me...none had to include cursing or being condescending. read more