Portabella Road is known the world over for an eclectic mix of shops, market stalls, antiques and interesting eats. And then, like a social disease, there's a fricking Starbucks ruining the whole scene.
Why? It's the exact same plastic experience and atmosphere you'll find at any of the other 17,000 Starbucks in the world. A vapid, soul-sucking chainification of the simple act of getting a beverage.
Oh, look, it's the same overpriced coffee with stupid names! Oh, look, they have muffins! Oh, look, it's full of boring laminate wood tables! Oh, look, it's just like every other cookie-cutter turd of a place this company manages to excrete across the landscape like an incontinent burrito reviewer on exlax-laced speed.
If our cities are gleaming white undies, Starbucks are the shit stains. And this location is no less browned.
Listen closely. You can hear the sheep. The bleating customer. They line up to order the exact same thing every time, yet each one of them is smug in their self-defined uniqueness. "I am special."
"There's my name on my cup."
You're not special. If Shaka Zulu were standing on the street and threw a spear through the window, there's a 9 in 10 chance he'd skewer someone operating an Apple product. And there's a 100% percent chance someone there is blogging about Corporate imperialism and the evils of companies like Wal-Mart, while they add to the bottom line of a $43 Billion company in which they sit.
Never mind that there are locally owned mom & pop eateries nearby, including coffee and drink shops. Never mind that when you buy locally, 60% of that money stays in the community rather than 10-20% at chains. And lest we forget that SBUX hasn't paid any taxes in the UK for years, while CEO Howard Shultz has personally netted $200 Million in the last five.
What's even more telling is that Starbucks itself can't stand the morons who frequent their stores. Their own sheep. What's the first thing for sale in the store, before you get to the counter? Bags of coffee for home use. What's the second major thing on sale? A coffee maker. The third? Coffee mugs. In short, Starbucks doesn't even want to pour hot water into a cup for you these days... buy the kit and do it in your own fucking living room. Herd the sheep back home.
But please, charge it to your Starbucks credit card first. You'll earn points towards your next cup.
How is this Starbucks on Portabella Rd? Just like every other one... Baaaaaad. read more