Turned up with fairly low expectations--and somehow, even that was a stretch. First impressions? Confused. We weren't sure if we'd walked into a restaurant, a bingo hall, or someone's living room. Eventually, a staff member noticed us awkwardly lingering by the "wait here" sign and showed us to a table, which was nice... until they vanished into the abyss. I placed my arm down on the table and it was a genuine struggle to lift it again--it was that sticky.
Menus? Nowhere to be seen. We had to flag someone down just to figure out how things worked. And when it came time to order--of course--it was QR codes. Because nothing screams warm hospitality like squinting at your phone and hoping you've tapped the right thing.
Drinks took a decade and a half. Just as I'd accepted dehydration, everything arrived at once--pints, plates, and a little bit of panic.
The food? To be fair, it was alright. Nothing to write home about--classic pub grub. Dessert was the one glimmer of hope: quick service, decent portions, no complaints there.
I thought we were finally turning a corner... until The Incident. One of the lads headed to the bathroom and ended up locked in. I went in to help and immediately regretted it. The place looked like it hadn't seen a mop--or a renovation--since the Cold War. Holes in the wall, toilet paper floating in mystery puddles, and a smell I'm pretty sure is now part of my DNA.
After a successful rescue mission--completely unaided by the staff, who were nowhere to be found--we made a swift exit. No goodbyes. Just a mutual understanding that we would not be back.
In short: it's cheap, it's cheerful(ish), but it's seriously lacking in TLC--and a working toilet door wouldn't go amiss either. What it's really missing, though? Human interaction. We saw our server twice in the hour and a half we were there. read more