I'm an old fat guy who isn't very picky about his hair. Well, not really that old and not that fat,…read moreand I do value a barber who could possibly get me one step closer to George Clooney-hood, but still ...
Point is, I fell into the habit of patronizing the franchise shops where you can walk right in and get a quick cheap haircut. They're convenient, about as inexpensive as you can find (we rubes assume,) and hereabouts the cut-rate shops aren't very busy unless you go during a rush hour.
Rush hours include the last Saturday before elementary school opens in the fall, BTW, when these haunts are SRO with parents intent on freshening up Junior's first-impression-to-be-for-Ms. Crabtree. Also avoid the franchise shop on midweek mornings. I've learned that little old ladies with cropped and waved silver hair favor the midweek morning for their twice monthly restoration of their "permanent"coiffure. (Bless them all.)
Or, if you're a post-doc cultural ecological anthropologist working on your first paper titled, "Evolved Avian Plumage Patterns Unrelated to Breeding Compared to Caucasian North American Geriatric Females' Hairstyle Preferences: Is Gender Dimorphism Common Across Bird and Human Species?," you should make a point to arrive at opening any Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday and plan on staying until noon. Priceless field data!
OK, sorry, let's regroup from the digressions above.
Truth is that for the last decade or so I always chose to go to a franchise haircut shop during the off hours, sit through a 15-minute bibbed barbering experience devoid of any extras except the American Spirit cigarette breath exuding from my "stylist" and conversation deriving from the feigned expression of interest,"So, what do you do?" A quarter-hour hence I'd walk out with what I paid for. A quick, cheap, not totally proficient tonsorial adjustment and a lingering odor of second-hand smoke.
Then, last week, I thought, there has to be a better way. There must be a nearby trustworthy shop that caters to guys like me who want a professional haircut from someone who knows that they're doing, maybe a hot shave once in awhile, no pretense, and a reasonable tab at checkout.
Put another way, I'm done with the franchise shops. I also long ago quit trying out the over-priced girly joints infested with ferns and their expectation that at minimum you'll require a wash in the neck-cracking sink, the needlessly time-consuming cut, then the blow dry, and last some "product" to take home to maintain your new masterpiece of a hair arrangement. After suffering all that and coughing up an average $60 or so, when you do go home and look in the mirror, whadda' you see? The same cut you get at the franchise shop except it set you back an Applebee's dinner for two with drinks, plus you now suffer from buyer's remorse and diminished self-esteem directly as a result of the tawdry experience.
All that said, now, finally, we get to Dan's Barber Shop and this review. (If you read this far, thank you! You're a potential Mensa inductee.)
To get into a chair at Dans' I first decided I was done with fast-food haircuts and the diminution of my ego they caused. Next I scrolled through Yelp reviews of all local barbers. Dan's was way up there among the best reviews. I decided to risk a visit ...
That risk, however small, was rewarded. At Dan's I got a basic haircut that ranks with the best ever I've had. No flaws on close inspection. And that ranking includes haircuts from the native Italian barbers in the basement of the Chicago Conrad Hllton (#1s) and the hot shave and cut received in one of Manhattan's recognized best old-school men's barbershops (#2.) For which in Manhattan I forked over $100 plus tip on my wife's credit card after she said I needed a haircut. (Chicago, $60 for a basic cut as I recall was expense account, so no pain there.)
Now, finally, cut to the chase. If you're a guy like me (or any age) and looking for a reliable, friendly, comfortable, manly environment in which to get a really well-executed haircut, don't hesitate. Dan's Barber Shop is THE place and, (sorry for the expression,) Dan IS the Man. (I'm sure Dan's will also expertly groom ladies of any age or persuasion too. Just be sure to place your kickstand on a board or rock so it doesn't sink into the pavement.) Anyway, that's it. A solid five stars. Dan's is tops.
As for me and you, I'll be looking for you at the next meeting of Supercuts Anonymous. I'm the guy with the great haircut.
