KEY POINTS
Beautiful location, facility, and grounds
Average overpriced food
Horrendous service
MY EXPERIENCE
I am unsure where to start. I had wanted to bring my wife to Portico for several years but never found the time. So on Friday, July 10, 2026, I decided we would try them out for lunch first before committing to dinner. So off we went with a well-behaved 3-year-old and 5-year-old.
They were busier than I expected for a lunchtime and only seemed to have patio seating available, which we gladly accepted.
So, we were seated and unfortunately waited an extreme amount of time (north of 12-15 minutes) for any contact to occur. The person who contacted us first was a host or runner who brought us water and told us that a server would be with us soon. So, they already had "strike 1" in my head.
Another 8-10 minutes came and went... So, we are now at over 20 minutes with no server contact. At that moment, Madeline arrives. At this point, we had decided to place our drink and food order at one time to avoid further delays. NOTE: We were not in a rush at all but expected reasonable service.
Madeline took our order and (I assume) placed it with the kitchen. We waited 20-25 minutes, which was not a terrible wait time, but for a lunch of two sandwiches and a small pizza, it was not an appropriate wait time either, especially given the over 20-minute wait to even see our server.
OK, so our food arrives (it is not our server delivering our food), and of all things, the most important item was wrong!! We had ordered the Pizza Piccante with NO grilled spicy pepperoncini, as the boys (3 and 5) had requested.
Well, it was covered in them--I mean, covered! So, we tell the food server it was wrong, and then we wait, and we wait, and nothing! So, finally, Madeline comes by and asks if everything is alright, and we say, "No, we ordered the pizza without peppers." She said she was sorry and said that she would put the pizza order back into the kitchen. I told her, "No, we don't have the time..." She then stood there kind of dumbfounded, and after a very awkward silence, she said she would take care of it and take it off.
So here we are, having waited just under an hour with hungry children, and they have no food, or we can wait another 20 minutes for them to attempt to get it right... NOPE! Not happening. So we just shared our food (pork sandwich and club sandwich) with the boys. We would just feed them elsewhere... what a disaster.
My surprise when I thought that was rock bottom... Now we sit with 3 out of 4 glasses empty and no Madeline... Oh, she was around, but not serving us any longer, apparently! Madeline walked by our table 6 (SIX) times and never looked our way or refilled our glasses, none of them! At this point I am fuming inside, so I requested my wife handle things from here and flag down Madeline for refills as we were consuming a dry pork sandwich and a pretty good, but average, club sandwich with two little boys who were amazing in their behavior even though they had not been served what they ordered.
So Madeline refilled only one glass, my wife's iced tea... um, she had to be flagged down again to refill the boys' lemonade... wow! I was having water, so I just kept refilling mine from the other 3 glasses on the table.
One of the last things Madeline did was offer us a remake of the pizza as a to-go item. Her exact words were, "Can get them to make you a new pizza to go." I said no, and then Madeline said, "On us." I looked at my wife, and she told her, "Sure."
Ha ha ha... we were charged for it.
I took the boys to the car, and my wallet handled the cash-out of our check. My wife wrote her a 'to the point' kind and gentle note on the guest check about how terrible this experience was... My wife also chose not to tip her and explained that we tip on service, not check total.
A FEW NOTES:
It has been more than 10 years since we have tipped zero and, in fact, have left several $50.00 tips on bills under $100.
Additionally, maybe, just maybe I just didn't look right, though I was dressed in formal shorts and a polo shirt... I have a dark beard and a wrap on my head that makes me look a certain way, though I am Italian. Not saying that was the issue, but I very much stuck out in the crowd. Just a thought.
I will not return to Portico ever.
Here is my advice to any readers of this review: Food is average, cost is high, and the environment is worth the overly inflated cost of the food; service was an abomination. If you have that rich look (you know the one), like you have a child or grandchild at the University of Richmond or an Ivy League school... You should be fine.
LASTLY, I have not written or left a bad review in many years. read more