Hey. Tough guy.
Yeah, I'm talkin' to you.
You and that lady of yours are gettin' serious.
If you care about her and yourself, you'll get tested, and guys can get tested down here through their health insurance. I had just a minimal co-pay.
Yes, today was a first for me, and it did feel a bit like being on "a very special episode" but was something that had to be done.
At 9AM, we strolled down to PP and were greeted by idiot pro-lifers and their manipulative, well-dressed masters. It was early for me so I didn't bother with them, and I could have. However, they're too deluded to get that they're being used by The Right to vote against their own interests, and they like freakshow confrontations, so I walked away and ignored the grotesque abortion photos they paraded around with. These people must be closet fans of splatter flicks. Christ.
You'd think they'd spend more time protesting wars and the death penalty, y'know?
Curiously, the ladyfriend is medically unable to have children. What they didn't know. Heh.
We waited 4 HOURS!!! Despite that, the unfortunate scene outside, and the strict security, we chatted up lots of people in a refreshingly frank way. What's there to be ashamed of? The staff is the same way, not to mention very friendly. Nobody judges you. In fact, they were all glad to see a guy come in willingly to get tested. It's called being responsible.
Kudos to the gal who took my blood. Her name was Farren. I swear to Ronnie Dio. She appreciated the little notes I belted out upon getting stuck with the needle. It's how I buck up for the pinch.
At one point, I put the urine sample in the empty towel dispenser inside the wall instead of the box. I had 'em chuckling over that and talking about me for sure.
They said to put it in the box on the wall.
"Ohhh, the other box..."
My morning was guest-scripted by Larry David.
Anyway, go down and get tested. Maybe you'll have fun with it like I did. Well, it was as much fun as it could have possibly been.
Before we walked out the door, I closed my eyes, clenched my fists and uttered the incantation "No pro-lifers, no pro-lifers, no pro-lifers..."
When we got out of there around 2PM, the pro-lifers were all gone, like magic. Swear to Ronnie Dio, again.
Thus ends my PSA for the day. read more