WHY I FIRED MY DOULA AT THE HOSPITAL
My Husband and I were going through our first pregnancy and we both felt it would be beneficial to hire a doula to serve as a birthing coach and to emotionally aid us to a stress free and safe birth. We met with Napa Valley Midwives owner's Heather and Bee two times prior to the birth to discuss how we pictured the experience going, our concerns, and the birth plan.
On August 27th, my contractions were getting very close and ranging between four to five minutes. Once I saw blood in the toilet, I knew it was time to give the doulas we hired a call. I contacted Heather and she said she would be on her way over to our house as soon as she could. Once she arrived my water broke, and it was brown. She explained that it was nothing to worry about. She said it is very common to have meconium in the amniotic fluid and that we should just wait and continue labor at home. Something just didn't feel right about that... my labor was moving fast, and I knew this baby wasn't going to wait for me to just relax in my bed. I asked Heather if she minded if I called the hospital and got a second opinion, she said of course not, and I proceeded to call. I explained to the nurse at the Queen of the Valley about the meconium and said to come in immediately. We grabbed our "go-bag" and headed out the door in separate cars. That's when things went south.
At our first meeting. Bee gave me her and Heather's phone number so I could start a group text for when I went into labor. She explained that one of them would be on call and respond whenever I needed anything. While driving to the hospital, which is five minutes away from our house, I received an accidental text from Heather that was supposed to be only for Bee. Heather wrote how terrified I was, how much fear I had while having contractions, and how concerned I was going to have an accidental home birth then proceeded to add a LOL after her judgmental comments.
I instantly broke down crying. I am on my way to the hospital to deliver my first child, possibly the most important day of my life and I have to read these negative text messages from the woman who we hired to help keep me calm and relaxed?! Talk about mentally messing you up! Before this, I thought I was handling things very well and was nervous, but very positive. Once I read the texts, that all came crashing down, and I was filled with self-doubt and second guessing my own abilities to deliver this child. I wrote back "wrong text" so she could get a clue that I was included in the thread, but she KEPT GOING. Heather proceeded to text more on how she wishes I went to their childbirth classes to better prepare (which I did, just with the hospital).
When my husband and I got to the hospital, I was not only in pain from my now two-minute apart contractions (I was dilated 7cm), but emotionally hurt and feeling low in confidence going into this birth. Once I checked into the hospital, we decided that we did not want Heather to be a part of our birth. My husband went to go meet her outside to tell her this, but she was nowhere to be found. We sent her a text to let her know.
I proceeded to go on with labor without the doulas and with the support of my husband and the amazing nurses at the Queen of the Valley hospital. I gave birth to a healthy baby boy 8 hours later. I am extremely proud of myself, despite my doula's judgmental comments. However, this terrible experience is now attached to my birth story forever.
We requested a full refund a couple of days after delivery via email. They denied us the full amount. Bee replied stating that their contract states that should you choose to terminate services after 36 weeks, the full fee remains the same. We pointed out the part of the contract that talks about labor & birth; "And most importantly will provide emotional support through continuous reassurance...". Instead of reassurance, I received criticism. Instead of arriving at the hospital confident and ready to give birth, I arrived with doubt and sadness, and this was completely due to Heather's actions.
In our opinion, this was an overall terrible experience that is compounded by the fact that we still had to pay $600 of "obligated contracted fees" on top of it. Anything we received of value was quickly gone the second we read those text messages. This experience still hurts to revisit and is emotional to even type out.
I am writing this review because nobody deserves to have this be part of their birth story. These women have explained to us that they have handled hundreds of births, yet they did the opposite of help and support me through mine.
***I have included the screenshots of the conversations between ourselves and Napa Valley Midwives from our home to the hospital.*** read more