When I was younger, I had a lot of gay friends and hung out in a lot of gay bars. Now don't go judging me and my fauxmosexual lifestyle. It's not like I was turning tricks Joe Buck-style; I just was really into theater and dancing to the occasional Bronski Beat record. And, yes, I still like to sing a showtune at karaoke every now and then. Still, none of my gay friends or THEIR gay friends ever mistook me as a Member of their Oh-So Fabulous Tribe as none of them would ever be caught dead in whatever pair of shoes I'd be wearing at the time. Which is kind of insulting now that I think about it.
One person, though, who swore to my gayness was my mother. She'd prod me to come out to her by not-so-subtly asking about my "friends who are boys" or where I'm getting my hair done that week and all because in 34 years on Earth, I never brought home a girl to meet her. It never occurred to my parents that that might have more to do with my inability to get a girl to actually come to MY house, let alone theirs, so I'd spend a disconcerting amount of time trying to "in" myself to my wrongfully understanding parents. (And they choose THIS as the one thing they're liberal about.) For years my parents were struck with this strange myopic blindspot where they confused my lameness with homosexuality, which is kind of insulting now that I think about it.
We're even, Gay Community.
So what does any of this have to do with Mary's? I say all of this to provide context for my review of this out and proud club of the ghey. I review Mary's not as some bleeding heart libby lib who accepts everyone with relativistic fervor. I review Mary's not as some dude who has newly discovered the novelty of hanging out with guys who are more interested in him than his girl. I review Mary's instead with the weariness of an aged queen who just happens to dig having sex with chicks instead of dudes. And so THAT'S where this is coming from, Girlfriend.
Saying all that, I like Mary's. Now it's been a while since I've been, being one half of an old married couple now, but my memories here are fond. I've mostly been here for karaoke which is not by design even though everyone knows what a karaoke whore I am. It just happens that the few times I've been drinking in EAV, Mary's happened to be hosting Mary-oke. But I usually have a fun time having at it. Granted, the karaoke may not be the well-oiled machine I'm accustomed to (sigh, it's saying phrases like this in reference to gay bars that makes me kind of understand my parents' confusion), but the karaoke is still adequate. And nothing entertains more than gay dudes on stage.
Other than that, the crowd is pretty well mixed. The drinks are priced higher than I like, but that's because I booze at places where the drinks are cheap and the women are cheaper. If I tried to work it right, I could conceivably be bought drinks, but again, my shoes are ATROCIOUS, so no drinks for me.
Sigh.
I ought to return to see if Mary's still earns these 5 stars, but a not so small part of me doesn't. On the off chance I'm disappointed, I'll be sad. And even though I don't live that far away, I don't think my liver is cut out for a night of drunken gay karaoke anymore. I don't even know if that somewhat hidden upstairs bathroom is still there anymore. So be forewarned that my 5 star review may exist solely in my memory. Oh, but what memories they are. read more