The WORST Massage experience I have EVER had!!! SOOOOooo BADDD!!! Speaking from over 11 years as a professional therpist, 8 years teaching, and Internationally certified traditional thai massage therapist... Recieving hundreds of massages of all different types, many deep tissue, thai, rolfing, accupressure, reflexology, sports styles ect...
First off, there was no receptionist to greet me. Only nail techs multi-tasking.
2ndly, my therapist was about 30 min late for the appointment so I had to request to reduce my time to 50-1hour do to time restrictions. No the HORRIBLE massage experience continues. I wanted a traditional classic thai massage, which I have had many in Thailand and the states. Yet, on this hot summers day, I was given a parafin foot wrap, which I just went with. Then got hot compresses on my already perspiring body. Then was given oil on my back which I didn't want.
***DANGEROUS CONTRAINDICATIONS of Massage Therapy to NEVER Commit!!!***
1. NEVER HIT THE SPINE!!! ESPECIALLY WITH ELBOWS ***DANGEROUS***
(I lost track of how many times the elbow was dragged over, across, and directly on my vertebraes. IN THE FIRST 15 MINUTES)
2. AVOID THE RIBS AND OTHER BONY LAND MARKS ON THE BODY
(I told the therapist in THAI language and ENGLISH that it hurt, pointing to my acromion process/spine/ribs)
3. NEVER, EVER, EVER!!! put DIRECT SHARP THUMB TIP, KNEE, or ELBOW PRESSURE ON ARTERIES TO BONE!!! NO, NO, NO!!!
(There are are very specific arterial compression's done correctly with palms over brachial plexus, femoral artery, and even Aorta... Although, this therapist put elbow pressure directly over my brachial artery into my humerous, and direct knee pressure into my femoral artery into my femur!!!)
***Very DANGEROUS***
4. ZERO INTUITION *** YOU CANNOT RUSH RELAXATION***
(The therapist had no healing intent, he was not responding to my body, I asked him to slow his techniques down several times, he was ABRUPT, ABRASIVE, SHARP, and TOO FAST) his response was, "you only want 1 hour, or you like strong pressure"
5. There is STRONG pressure, and then there's WRONG pressure
(the therapist had no intuition, proper training, guidance of where or how to properly place compressions/ strokes ect.... ie. If I asked him to hit the broad side of a barn, he was throwing grenades in the chicken coop on the neighbors property! Almost every technique set was off kilter in terms that he was never on the proper location, ie. if he aimed for the back, I was getting hit in the ribs or the spine.
6. MY BALLS!!!! ***DO NOT HIT YOUR CLIENTS IN THE TESTICLES!!! GRRR!!***
(The therapist hit my in the scrotum sac at least a half dozen times with his FOOT compressions, I had to physcally pull them aside, while he tried to wave my hands away, I told him to slow down and be careful, and that he was hurting me, but he still wasn't getting it!)
7. PROFESSIONALLY CERTIFIED??? In thailand? In the US? I THINK NOT!!!
(Being a certified massage therapy instructor in the US and Thailand, seeing that this therapist BROKE EACH AND EVERY CARNAL SIN AND CONTRAINDICATION KNOWN TO THE FIELD OF MASSAGE THERAPY just about.... I don't believe that this therapist has been LEGALLY certified to practice massage in the US or Thailand to be honest... if so... he needs to have his license revoked!!!
(Although, the therapist had claimed to be doing this for 15 years professionally... I think that this place needs to be REVIEWED by the DEPARTMENT OF LABOR, and the BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU)
MASSAGE COMMON SENSE PEOPLE!!!!
Maybe 5% of the massage was ok... I have received innumerable thai massage, deep tissue, rolfing, sports massage, stretching....
My pain threshold is higher than I'd say 95% of typical massage clientel, I'm 6'2", athletic, and highly resilient... If these same techniques had been performed on others of poorer health, elderly, feeble, or having prior injuries, some serious damage could have been caused...
***(my Right shoulder was injured after receiving this massage fyi...***)
The kicker!! ! #@
So, the therapist does the massage for about and hour 10 minutes, (when I asked for an hour, because I had somewhere to be), i'm now running late, he then charges me for 90 min, when he only did 80.
I practically throw the money on the table and walk out... Didn't have time to gripe... but thank you for this opportunity YELP!! =)
PS: The owner, or somebody, RON maybe? called apologizing for the massage starting late, and offered a FREE 30 min upgrade on my next massage there...
*****REALITY CHECK******
I would rather be caught DEAD, than to come back to this facility!!!
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