I was helping a friend study for the Quantitative section of the GRE in exchange for beer, when an old skool question about the laws of integers popped up. "I can't remember does a negative multiplied by a negative equal a positive?" I tried to explain it by relating to our surroundings.
"Looking into a laser can boil the aqueous membrane that protects your eyeballs..NEGATIVE. We saw "The Grey" together, wolves are just smelly dogs you can't pet..NEGATIVE. Laserwolves protect humans by running in packs while using their light vision to tear zombies to ribbons..POSITIVE!
(-laser) x (-wolf) = +laserwolf
Laser Wolf is really a bar that has a little something for everyone, except liquor. There's wine for the ladies, sake for Japanophiles, cider for kids, and crafty brews for everyone. A special note on cider, it's a gateway beverage. Everyone loves it, you just have to find out if they prefer the dry or sweet variety. It has the same alcohol percentage as your standard Big 3 Miller/Coors/Bud but more flavor. Start people that "Don't do beer" on cider until they grow a palate.
Earlier when my friend pulled up and asked, "Which of these rape zones should I park in? Pittsburgh [pointing towards railroad tracks], Buffalo [junk yard] or Cleveland [dilapidated warehouse]?" True the area isn't swanky, but I'd prefer to keep paying $5 for double digit ABV beer.
It's a purposely designed dive displaying artworks with titles like "Saint Steve Jobs" and 'Manicorn Glamour Shot'. While you're at it you might as well grab some chalk and do what your parents always forbade and doodle on the walls. I just hope you're not easily offended because I don't know who draws more offensive graffiti, the patrons or the staff.
If you make conversation and have boobs or consistently tip your bartender, he'll play whatever tickles your fancy. Last time I was feenin' for some 80's punk so the The Misfits, Body Count and Black Flag went into rotation.
I've only met three of the bartenders, of which Dave H. // DJ Commissioner is my go-to. He'll know your favorite beer by how you describe your family dog, knows where to get the best roti (he's a white Trini after all) and how to put a gaping hole in a brand new Lexus.
The only gripe I have with this bar is my friends always confuse the name and get lost or we have conversations like --
Hazer Wolf? No, he's the douchey upperclasswolf that terrorizes pledges during 'rush week'.
Blazer Wolf? No, he's only the most fashionable canis about town.
Lazar Wolf? No, he's the kosher butcher from 'Fiddler on the Roof'.
Whatever you call it, call it home. It's the best place to drink a high-brow beer in a pretension-free environment. read more