One of the girls from my running group swears by this place. She's in here every few days. She…read moremight be crazy.
I'd never heard of it, and I may have never visited, if it weren't for the fact that I was meeting a group here. I'm against both cultural appropriation and food that doesn't have any meat in it.
There are no vegan Mexican restaurants in Mexico, right? Do they refer to regular Mexican restaurants as Mexican restaurants, or just restaurants?
I've often wondered the same thing about Chinese restaurants in China. Certainly, they don't call them what we call them here. I don't even think they do that elsewhere in the US.
Terror Tacos has tables named after horror films and a QR code-based ordering system. I was lucky that my group selected a table named after the Lost Boys, a staple of my childhood.
Death by stereo!
I've seen old people get up and leave restaurants because they preferred not to order via QR code, or they couldn't figure it out. It's a testament to Terror Tacos uncompromising nature that they employ such a system. I mean, if you couldn't already tell that from the decor. I briefly considered seeing if they had any real meat in the back they could put in my tacos, then decided I'd better not.
Old people might consider dining elsewhere anyway, for the protein. Apparently, there's a pizza place across the street that also doesn't serve meat. On my run, in the neighboring streets, I saw several people kinda stooped over. Was it the vegan food, or the drugs, or a little bit of both?
I kid Terror Tacos, but this was honestly great. In a few cases, I could hardly tell I was eating fake meat. Some of the meat substitutes were obviously not real, but still not half bad for what they were. If they used these same recipes with actual meat, they'd have a line down the block and around the corner, as if they were selling especially potent heroin.
You can get tacos in a flight, like at a winery, and if you order at least five of them each one is discounted. Five is probably more than most people need, but not anything I couldn't handle. When I mentioned that I ordered five tacos, members of my group were shocked and concerned. It's that kind of group. They use a lot of go containers, which I'd oppose philosophically even if I needed them.
An obvious standout was the Basic Witch, basically their version of one of the regular crunchy tacos at Taco Bell. It's surprisingly similar, but more hefty. It'll run you, but it's the cheapest of the tacos on offer here, and if you get five of them, they knock a couple of dollars off. If I return, which of course would only be because I was meeting someone, I might do just that.
The other ones were pretty good too. I appreciated some of the other fake-meat options because they were spicier, but I didn't care for the texture as much on the ones that were meant to resemble whole cuts of meat, like a steak. The guy who brought them out pointed to each one and said what they were, but I immediately forgot. I know I had the Citrus Mistress, the Cowboy from Hell and a Quesabirria.
Anyway, individual names are less important when it's all just ground up agricultural byproduct, soy and various other things RFK Jr almost certainly wouldn't approve of. The key is that they've somehow gotten it all to taste not half bad. They may have made a deal with the devil.
