So I keep hearing about how great the burger at Hooters is from one of my buddies. I decided to give it a try.
As soon as my wife and I walked in the door, I was greeted by two beautiful and nice women. They walked us to a table and handed us two menus. I looked at the menu and saw the build a burger option. I flagged down the waitress and told her I wanted the build a burger. She asked me what I'd like, and I said "I'd like lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, cheddar cheese, and ketchup." She asked me if I wanted fries, and I told her onion rings instead.
The burger arrived and it was a mighty fine burger. It was one of the best burgers in Baton Rouge if I must say. I asked my waitress for the check. When she brought me my bill, I looked at it and you know what it said?
It was a blank piece of paper with the words written on it "I need about tree-fitty."
Well, it was about that time that I notice that my waitress was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era. It was the Loch Ness Monster! I said, "Monster! Let me eat my burger in peace! I ain't giving you no tree-fitty!" It said, "how about just two-fitty?" I said, "Oh, now it's only two-fitty!! What?! Is there a sale on Loch Ness burgers or something?!"
I immediately flagged down the manager and asked him how they go about hiring new employees. I said "I'm looking at these other tables and they all have nice sweet waitresses and I got stuck with the Loch Ness Monster trying to sell me a burger for tree-fitty!"
He said every employee goes through a thorough interview process before they are hired and apologized for the mistake. He told me the burger was on the house, but asked if I at least tip the hostess during these hard times. I said "I have no problem with tipping the hostess" and asked how much I should tip her.
He paused for a few seconds, looked me in the eyes and said "She needs about tree-fitty..."
Well, it was about that time I got suspicious. I walked over to the hostess stand and sure enough, there was the Loch Ness monster! I said, "Monster! You stop bugging me now! I work for my money and don't give money away!"
My wife and I walked straight out of the building and got in our car. I said why won't that monster leave us alone?" My wife informed me she had just given him tree-fitty the week before. I said "What?! You gave that monster another tree-fitty?!" Well no wonder the monster keeps coming back! You keep giving it tree-fitty!
That was the last time I've seen the Loch Ness Monster. read more