If you like cheap, ugly decorations from the dollarstore, second hand thrift shops, and yard sales, then this is the hotel for you! And it's all thanks to the owner's cheap-ass (co-owner) gf.
The rooms in this particular hotel are virtually swimming in many (hideous) shades and themes; most of which don't even match. I mean honey-coloured bed frames with blue walls; ew. And that good people is called the "nautical room".
If you'd like to spend a night or two in the "safari room", I'm certain you'll thoroughly enjoy the over-sized elephant head hanging directly above the bed; dedicated to watching over you (or WATCHING you, if that's your kink), but don't worry, the vibrations won't disrupt it too greatly, meaning it won't land on yours or your sweetheart's cranium.
By the way, I hope you're all tiny-boned because the over-sized beds (sometimes two to a room, as well as all the extras, i.e. microwave, mini-fridge) don't allow for much moving about.
If you've been dying for some cultural appropriation, might I suggest a trip to the orient? The "zen room", which comes equipped with tiiiiiny fountains (that drip) and a Buddha head, might appeal to you.
Moving on to toilet paper, I hope you like strangers manhandling your arse wipe before you do. That's right, the TP is folded into wee triangles that look like envelope flaps. And the towels, OMFG, Swedish chef hats, anyone? BORK BORK BORK
There are several other themes, but I'll let you be surprised.
Another surprise, which I will tell you about are the bloody underwear! That's right - BLOODY. UNDERWEAR. Some clients insist on secretly tipping workers with their used stashes. "Secretly tipping" because they are often hidden between the mattresses and box springs.
Speaking of the box springs, those bed skirts aren't just for decoration. That's right folks! They are hiding big ol', ugly stains! Blood stains, piss stains, sex secretions, sweat stains, you name it, they have it... all over the blankets and pillows, too.
Try not to catch anything.
While we're focused on the beds, I'd like to POINT out that some of the canopies on those canopy beds are are held up with thumb tacks. Hope you don't get to feeling too frisky; for your own safety and comfort, obey the following: NO TUGGING ON THE OVERHEAD FABRIC! Ignore that and you might wake up feeling more than just good memories of the hours gone by.
And, oh my goodness, what are those white drips down the wall? Is that... cum?? I certainly hope not! vomits in mouth
While I have you all here, let's not forget the 'Do Not Disturb' sign is your friend - USE IT! Otherwise the house staff WILL enter your suite when you're away and the gf WILL rearrange their decorations. They might even surprise you with a bit of rearranging of the items you brought along - BONUS!!!
One positive thing I will say about this hotel is that they permit pets. Yay! I love animals! Not all rooms are animal friendly, however, so you will need to inquire as to which rooms you and your floofy babies can occupy. (I'm just guessing here, but I suspect it's one of those rooms that are over-run with fleas). Let's hope they don't also come with ticks; flea-borne anemia is bad enough. I wouldn't want anyone returning home with Lyme disease.
And just think, all of this and more can be enjoyed for the ridiculous starting price of (just) $140 bucks per night.
Enjoy.
(NOTE: I had to repost my original yelp, from January 2019, because the update replaced it):
UPDATE: One of my friend's cousins works here and she recently informed me of another bit of interesting information. Randomly, the owner's girlfriend will redecorate rooms that are still occupied. Yes, you read that correctly: your white towels will be changed to, let's say blue, and the cloth baskets said towels were in will be switched out for dollar store wicker. Photos on the walls will even switched for other photos (i.e. flowers for birds). And throw pillows will either be removed entirely or switched to match with the rest of the new decor. read more