If there's one thing about about an H&M that you can count on, it's consistency. Consistency in…read morefair prices, consistency in seasonal clothing and my favorite consistency, the ability to con the sales clerks into giving you a good deal when there's one to be had. I found just such a deal at this very store.
I was on a mission to stuff my America-destined suitcase with coats galore on my recent trip to London and while we have H&M's here in the States, it's always been my experience that they are a bit better overseas, so I figured I'd go in.
As I strolled through the aisles, combed the racks and fondled, tugged and pulled at fabrics, I found an adorable little gold knitted sweater for... 3 pounds. Yes! But a jacket, Stephy, you must find a jacket. Keep your focus, girl!
I decided since the first floor was looking pretty picked over and grim that I'd hike the two flights upstairs and see what there was. And there, oh there it was, my new coat.
I only saw two of them. One, definitely smaller than the other and from about 20 feet away, I guessed maybe a size 4 and a 12 or 14 for the bigger one aka my new coat. I b-lined it for the coat, only knocking a few tiny hipsters out of the way and clenched it with my mitten covered hands! (Somehow that doesn't sound very menacing with the word mitten in it, huh? Oh well, moving on...)
Sure enough, the small was indeed a size 4, off with you silly little person coat! And then there it was my 14 (hey, I eat, I have curves, la la la). I immediately dropped my purse and shed the 17 layers of clothing I was wearing to prevent me from freezing to death in the chilly London air and the coat was on. I did the chick side turn that gives you a peep at your bum to make sure it looks flattering. I did the classic reverse glance neck tilt to make sure my ass didn't look as big as it really is and then I went to button it and...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Missing buttons!! Crap sandwich!
But wait? There was that little person coat that I tossed aside with reckless abandon.... Hmm, perhaps that coat had buttons? Sure enough! IT HAD BUTTONS!! And so it was time to plan my discount. My trained shopper mind knew full well that they weren't going to be able to sell this coat as is, which means, discountville!! Hey, it's defective and missing most of the front buttons, surely you can't charge me full price. What say we take the buttons off of the smaller coat and give them to me and then sell me the big coat at a discount defect price seeing as how I will have to sew the buttons on myself?
And so I scanned the cashiers and looked for the youngest, most clueless looking one. There she was, blinking like Bambi! I approached her with confidence and gave her my spiel and after she thought it over and asked her manager, what do you know, success, new jacket and 20 new buttons were mine!
Thanks H&M, I will wear my score with pride!