It's best if I start at the beginning…read more
We first contacted Amber Barrett of Granite State Doulas, which operates out of the Wild Woman Wellness Center, via doulamatch.net this last summer concerning our baby boy, whose birth date should have been October 22nd. Our li'l one couldn't wait and was born 9/23/2015. He was just 5 lbs 4 oz, so small he could curl up in my hands. He's wonderful. Truly. Our experience with Amber, however, was anything but. While we didn't exactly start off on the right foot (she forgot about our initial scheduled appointment and never showed up), we hired her anyway given that mistakes happen.
We were afforded one consult prior to the birth. Sadly, Amber did not bring us any of the promised pregnancy literature: the "Awesome Birth" workbook, an emotional signpost handout, comfort techniques cheat sheet. This was our first baby; it's why we hired a doula.
At 2:44 a.m. on September 23rd, my wife's water broke and we contacted Amber to let her know. We were given the impression that she'd be available anytime--our pre-birth conversations suggested so--though it's clear now we were mistaken. At 8:20 a.m. we received a response and I called at 8:30 a.m. to give an update--water broken, in the hospital, 3 cm dilated, etc. Amber told me things would take a while and she should wait before coming in "otherwise we would just be hanging out." When I asked her how long it would take for her to get to our hospital she said one hour.
Between noon and 2pm, I kept her updated, when my wife's dilation increased, how she was doing pain-wise. All along, I expected Amber to tell me when it made sense for her to come. We hired a Doula with the expectation that she'd guide us through a potentially scary situation, not the other way around. At 4:07 pm I insisted she come; my wife's natural birth was taking a toll. 2 1/2 hours later Amber arrived, only 6 minutes before our son was born, which our doctors confirmed, and then she hung back, out of sight.
Immediately following the birth she apologized profusely--she'd gotten lost, she said, google maps was being weird, traffic--and she offered great postpartum care in lieu of doula services not given. But considering our experience, we couldn't exactly trust she'd follow through. How could we? We declined.
We stayed with our beautiful boy that week he recovered in the NICU, and not once did she check in. Not even an email to say hello, I hope you're doing well. A text. Nothing. She still hasn't contacted my wife.
September 26th, I emailed Amber regarding a partial refund (minus retainer, i.e., half of what we paid), which appears to be spelled out in her contract under "Failure to Provide Services" or "Any Other Circumstances." Despite our experience, she responded that she didn't see how she could've done anything differently. No refund. She pointed to a cause in the contract citing either "quick labor," defined as birth under two hours, or "that we call too late," less than two hours before the birth, "a refund will not be provided." When I wrote 1) that our labor began at 2:44 a.m. and he was born at 6:36 p.m., not "quick," and 2) that she arrived about 2 1/2 hours after my call, despite claiming to be an hour away, she said she remembers things differently.
One particularly sleepless night, we were watching our baby through the glass of the NICU and my wife broke down. She said, "I feel like she swindled us." I lost it. She was right. In center of what should've been a beautiful experience, we'd thrown away money we could've used to help our struggling child. Rather than providing security, Amber added anxiety and financial strain.
I was so frustrated that I contacted the owner doulamatch.net, and she suggested the following actions: contact the doula's certifying organization and file a grievance; if the doula holds a business license, file a grievance with the city or state's Better Business Bureau where the doula holds her license; post a testimonial of your experience with this doula on her profile. She also said, "Doulas should err on the side of a new family's emotional experience and do what is right and fair by everyone involved." It's worth noting that Amber's Doulamatch.net profile has since disappeared so we can't review her.
After much trying, Amber finally promised a refund in mid-October. When it didn't arrive, I emailed, and again she promised something in November. And then in December. Then in early January. Late January, we received less than half of a partial refund, $150, as opposed to the $400 her contract spells out. She stated that this was for the billable hours of post-partum doula care we didn't take (how could we?) in reparation for missing the birth.
We are leaving a negative review because we would hate for other couples to have a similar experience. Your child is too important so spend your resources carefully.
