I want to write this directly to the person who is doing research to find a place for a loved one…read more It's hard, exhausting and overwhelming. The first thing you'll notice when you come to Aegis in Granada Hills is how much nicer it looks than all other assisted living facilities you'll see. It doesn't have an institutional feel at all. You feel as if you've walked into a large living room in somebody's house.
If you choose Aegis, after a while you might start to think that what you're paying for is just the nice surroundings (and the good food in the cafeteria). But I want to assure you that the staff is noticing every little like and dislike your loved one holds. They're learning about your person's quirks, personality and habits. They're noticing any and all subtle change in behavior and are making mental notes. It's quiet and respectful and not the least bit smothering.
My brothers and I moved our mother across the country, after our father died, to live near us, as she had dementia. In all honesty, she was difficult. She always wanted to be left alone. She didn't want to participate in all the great activities Aegis has to offer. She just liked to sit in the cute café area (across from the cafeteria) with a book.
She lived at Aegis for five years before her steep decline. At the beginning of the year, they put her on hospice care. At first, it didn't seem that she needed it, but they knew she did because of bloodwork. Something had changed. Then the weight loss started, following by jaundice. They reported every single change they saw - her eating habits, her isolation, everything.
Brittany, in the office, answered any questions I had, as I prepared for the inevitable, and was so calm and helpful. The staff was so good about being there for my mother without hovering (my mother could not stand hovering). Patricia and Irma were so gentle and kind to my mother, even as she would abruptly say, "Leave me alone" or "Go away." They are professionals who have sunny dispositions and didn't take it personally when my mother was at her worst.
Near the end, I was visiting more often. I'm sure I brought the gravity of the situation with me and wore it on me like a suit. Lorena, at the front desk, always took the time to ask how I was and offered kind words and empathy.
By the last week of my mother's life, I was staying overnight in her room. While I was in constant contact with my husband and brothers, it was a lonely feeling to be there while my mother was dying. One night, Annabelle (one of the night shift staff members) came in. We just chatted about normal things - our husbands, this and that. I'm not sure if she knew how much I needed that at that moment, but it was appreciated more than I can express. It was a moment of levity during a very dark time.
One day, I really needed to get home for just a little bit. I was talking with Jennifer, letting her know I would be back soon, and she reminded me to drive safely. It wasn't just a throw-away reminder. She could probably see that dazed look on my face that one gets when a loved-one is about to pass away. That little reminder was important and indicative of how much the staff cares.
Yolanda and Mary were with me during the worst of it all. On more than one occasion, after explaining to me what was happening, Yolanda offered hugs before I even knew I needed one (and, boy, did I need one). I watched her, Mary, Sabrina and Laurice show my mother patience and compassion as she lost her ability to do anything (by then, she was frustrated with herself and was taking it out on anyone who was helping). I never once saw anyone lose patience with my mother. They knew exactly what she needed and when. Let me tell you, what I witnessed was a fine-tuned staff swooping in to handle every possible need my mother had.
If you or your loved one has the means to afford Aegis, I'm here to tell you that it's not just the nice common areas, apartments and good food you're paying for.
As for payments, the one downside of Aegis is the point system (care points). It can be confusing. When you figure out the formula, write it down! I wrote the equation out on the inside of a folder where I kept hard copies of the statements. That way, when you receive updated care points, you can easily figure out the cost change. Andrea, in billing, will explain it all to you. She's fantastic.
It's a very hard decision to move a loved one into assisted living. It's equally difficult to find the right place. I can say with 100 percent certainty that my brothers and I made the right decision for our mother.
