Like The Supremes and Tom Cruise's film career, I enjoy about one-third of Freshii. I'll give it credit for not completely embracing the borderline dangerous food trends health obsessed people cling onto, the type of snake-oil products paraded by raw-food adopters and paleo-heads. You know the ones, serving wheatgrass, kale, chia, along with various other claimed superfoods in a non-dairy, non-gluten, vegan environment in hopes of reinforcing the myth about their purported health benefits. They cling onto long-since debunked fabrications in order to justify substandard food at excessive prices. The owners attempt to dawdle behind trends in hope the gullible masses will believe the Oz-like hype and pay excessively for a placebo. I've been to places a lot worse. In the scope of trends, I honestly have more respect for Mary Kate Olsen in a disheveled sweater.
I opened strongly to gather the reactions from the knee-jerk armchair quarterbacks. Freshii crosses a few lines with me, but at the end of the day, the food isn't bad. And that's where the one-third came from. I've eaten there twice--on both times ordering a wrap (well, a wrap and burrito--basically the same thing differentiated by temperature). On both occasions I didn't regret the middling price I paid for my meal. Less than $10, slightly over if you add a protein. The ingredients are fresh, though I do admit the last one lacked seasoning, probably due it being delivered so quickly, it probably accessed the Speed Force. Barely in jest, I ordered, sat down, and thirty seconds later, it was done.
The location is simple, clean, and constricted. A solid white finish broken up by a faux grass wall leads you towards the counter, one lacking any flow control. If busy, you must push against those returning from the counter. At least you're not required to stand in front of the condiments concerning yourself over what kind of onions you want. As I sat and consumed, sipping my unpleasant banana almond crunch smoothie, reminding myself that I actually spent $6.00 on a small cup of runny yogurt that inexplicably didn't contain cognac, I looked over the menu, and the two other brochures on either side.
Yes, three--I said one third.
The wraps, burritos, and bowls I could handle. I'd avoid the juices, especially those claiming detox and energy. All food contains energy...that's why it's called food. And if I wanted to drink kale, I'd just make soup. But that's not where my hackles got up, it's where they advertised juice cleanses.
No, they don't work. Yes, they are unhealthy. Apparently, we've all been eating badly for ten-thousand years. Leading scientists and dieticians claim the concept of detoxing is a marketing myth. So yeah, from a business stand point, I have an issue with a place dipping a toe in pseudoscience. At least they're not cramming non-gluten down my throat.
And finally, that brings me to the Meal Box, the final brochure. With that, you select a theme, a caloric limit, and Freshii does the rest. They plan out the whole day, three meals, and two snacks. And how much would you expect to pay for such a plan for one month? I've asked friends, and all have low-balled a guess. $300? $500? $600? Not even close. Would you believe that a month of the Meal Box will cost you over $1000 dollars? I'm pretty much on solid ground saying that I could eat pretty damn well at better establishments in town on a $1000-dollar budget.
So the Meal Box is an insult and the juice cleanses are bad science potentially threatening your health. But the food isn't bad. I was prepped for a more positive review given my initial meal, but the second really let me down. Freshii does appear the offspring of a Subway and a Booster Juice that was sent to prep-school, got in with the hipster crowd, and then came back with crippling debt, no degree, but a positive forward thinking attitude. Keep that mindset while I walk to your parents' place and order a sweet onion chicken teriyaki footlong.
Food: 3/5
Service: 2.5/5
Presentation: 2/5
Value: 3/5
Recommendation: 3/5 read more
