The Silence of the Lambs was a masterpiece -- it was, as they say, a four-star film. The only thing that rating and "Four Star" Property Management have in common is that, like Hannibal Lecter, I would eagerly cut off another person's face and wear it over my own to escape one of the properties these people manage. If you are cursed enough to occupy one of the charming slums in the "Four Star" Property Management portfolio, you will quickly learn that they do not "manage" their properties in any commonly understood sense or definition of the word. They "manage" their properties the same way the mangled rotting corpse of a skunk manages the road in which it's been run over. It's just kind of there, hideous and unresponsive. As a tenant, you will learn that the nearest you have to a property manager, the entity who appears most in charge, is the colony of raccoons living and indeed thriving, very audibly, inside the moldy walls of your unit. Neither the raccoons nor any of the fine representatives of "Four Star" Property Management will address or in any way be responsive to your concerns about the constantly malfunctioning appliances within your unit, or the litany of well-documented maintenance issues you present in writing on a weekly basis, but the raccoons have a reasonable excuse in that they are raccoons, and they are quite busy loudly clawing through the insulation of your ceiling. As one lies awake at night, all night, every night, hour after hour, listening to the deeply and profoundly disgusting noises they make, meditating upon the countless failures and missed opportunities in life that inevitably lead a human being to imprisonment within the "Four Star" Property Management extended universe, one reaches a kind of zen super-consciousness, a level of peace and knowledge heretofore unattainable by man, unknown to all but only the wisest of men and their raccoon companions. Indeed, only the raccoons are able to understand you now. This is as it should be. This is the way. The raccoons understand, and that is all. It is clear, to those who have attained this stage of enlightenment, that it would not be entirely accurate to say the people of "Four Star" Property Management will not address the infestation of nocturnal rodents within your home, will not acknowledge the harassment and violent property damage committed by shameless anti-mask neighbors, will not account for any of the other flagrant acts of omission that violate whatever godforsaken lease or contract you may have made the mistake of signing with them. To say that they will not address these basic habitability issues is to imply that they are at some foundational, atomic level capable of addressing them. One who has reached Raccoon Consciousness knows they are not. No, Four Star Property Management does not decide to do or not do anything at all. It is beyond them, as it would be beyond a lump of plastic waste in the ocean, which is, as they are, an ecological error, unforeseen by and unaccountable to the natural processes of evolution, bereft of consciousness and agency, the worthless discarded junk of a broken and miserable society, thoughtless, helpless, homeless -- the last of which, any Four Star Property Management tenant will tell you, would be much, much better than what you get with them. read more
