Date of Visit: 1/17/15 (Saturday)
Time: 10:00AM
Practitioner: Jeff
Package: 60 minutes - Hands, neck head,foot massage - $55 (non VIP price)
This. place. is. awesome!
Location: Side access road in front of Walmart, near Panera Bread, next to Titlemax (meh)
Parking: A little tight when everyone is waiting for the check cashing place to open...
What to wear: Pants that can easily roll up to your knees, leave the rings and earrings at home. This is the one time that you can wear yoga pants and it actually serves a purpose...
Setup:
The photos here don't do it justice. The place is dark, which I am grateful for. There is nothing worse than going somewhere that you are supposed to relax at and they turn on the lights (I am talking to you, yoga instructors). They all pretty much whisper to one another and there is minimal talking. I mean borderline none. There is theme music on and a waterfall running, but I also heard the dryer - which, let's face it, isn't all that bad. The place is very clean with dark brown walls and minimal decoration, but who cares because the lights aren't on anyway. They have the windows covered in black out curtains too. The carpeting is super padded. The restroom is unisex and clean, nothing fancy. There was a little tape on the toilet handle. Otherwise, they hide everything behind matching curtains. Overall it is tastefully done.
There are six huge mauve chairs that at first look like they belong in a nail salon, until you sit in them and start pondering how much you would be willing to pay for one. And wait a minute...it is an actual massage table! We'll get to that later.
Massage:
So I was the first on there. They asked me how the temperature was and I indicated it was a little warm and I am guessing that they adjusted the thermostat. Out came a mini barrel lined with a plastic bag and filled with warm water to soak my feet. This is not your nail salon stick-your-feet-in-this-weird-little-jet tub-and hope-it-is-clean situation. It was a little odd getting used to the set up, since I had never been there before. Take your shoes off and sit in the seat and then they slowly recline it and adjust your pillows and cover your torso with a towel for comfort - much appreciated, I would have felt a little self conscious otherwise. I was offered water or tea. And then they begin the deal!
Ya know when you see people doing pushups on their fingertips? I bet Jeff does them on only his index fingers. He would have blown through El Capitan at Yosemite. This guy is the real deal. I am not kidding. You are not going to sleep through this massage. If you do you need to be checked for narcolepsy. They start at your head and work to your feet. If your soft spot never sealed up, he might end up wearing your skull on his thumb a'la Little Jack Horner. I don't think there was a spot her missed moving down my entire body (not the stomach). My head, neck and everything was squeezed, rubbed, and smacked for good measure. Not going to lie, my shins are sensitive and I almost tapped out but I knew the process was worth the end result. Then he hits your toes which could easily put you into fits because it tickles (and I don't have ticklish feet). while he works on one leg, he places the other under a towel to keep it warm and hydrated. They use an unscented lotion on your feet and legs. I thought we were done when he finished my feet and started smacking my legs to release the energy. My brain was debating if bamboo whippings were next. Then he moved to my head and said "face down." It took a second but then I realized he wanted me to roll over and wah lah - there is a face hole under the head rest and he dropped the upper part of the chair even more! And it all started again: down my neck and spine, through the legs, and back to the head. I felt the elbows in the back and even got the chopping/slicing motion we all associate with massages when we are seven years old and want to help our dad out after a long day of work. While I lay there my tip just kept going up in my head. This is a lot of work. The session was ended when I rolled over and he wiped down my legs with warm wet towels and he tried to pull down my pant legs that were boyfriend jeans that were almost cutting off my circulation (because I have beefy calves).
The only thing that threw me off was the odd dog barking on a sound track at the end of a song - it was just funny.
I wish I knew about this place sooner. I don't think I will ever get a normal massage again.
When I was done there were three men who had shown up for their massages.
Don't be a cheap ass - these people are doing hard work and you can tell. read more
