Thank God for Talkspace. I had my first psychotic break in October of 1980. I am 64. I have coped with Paranoid Schizophrenia for 44 years. The chemistry between my therapist and I is perfect. She is a Phd named D'Ann. She lives in Georgia and I live in Buffalo. We are both Catholics. Both read a lot about religion. Totally on the same page politically. D'Ann has been a miracle. I have unexpected moments of grace and happiness. I retired 3 years ago and I was completely terrified. My terror was completely justified. I come from an intensely dysfunctional family. I was alone with the fridge all day. I was hopeful that i would walk a lot when I retired. I did not. I was hopeful I could work on a small business that I had been thinking about and wishing for. I started planning the business 41 years ago. I have wanted to write a book for 20 years. D'Ann is opening the door to ambition, more focus, far more productive behavior. I have taken myself out of the loop with my diseased sisters, brother mother, aunt, and niece. No relationship is worth your mental health. For 40 years my family tormented me and they really, really enjoyed it. D'Ann is a powerful and miraculous, healing woman. I appreciate her and the messaging 24/7 is MINDBLOWING. In 1983 when I had a massive, massive nervous breakdown it took me 4 years to get my life together again. Carelon Behavioral Health genuinely cares about me. My well being, my future, my happiness, my health. They allowed me to feel joy and hope. They allowed me to be a productive, happy member of society. I never, ever, ever goof with my medicine. I cannnot !! betray my friend D'Ann. I don't goof because with hard work and supportive kind friends my dreams will come true. D'Ann waves her magic wand over my messed up life and all the pain and anger and dysfunction and I make better choices and magically and miraculously I now have a pretty happy life. If possible I would like to give the administrators at United Health a pint of my blood. They gave me back my life. They wiped away my tears, despair and torment. Therapy works. Spend the money. Find a therapist who believes in you. The sky is the limit. It is likely you will find happiness and joy too. Schizophrenia is a cunning and baffling disease. Online therapy Rocks. God Bless - moe roos read more