I recently buried my father at Cedar Park and was stunned by the rude, terrible way I was treated by the staff. First of all, there was not enough parking for our guests, leaving people waiting in the cold. Second, we had been told that our service in the Sanctuary of Abraham & Sarah had to be a tight 45 minutes. If we went over the allotted time at all, we were told staff would usher us out. Okay... So we made sure everyone who gave a eulogy kept it tight and I spend much of the service worrying if somebody is going to take the mic out of my hand if we go over. The service ends, and guess what - there's literally nobody booked after us. The space sits empty for at least another 30 minutes. So glad we rushed everyone and I worried over nothing.
But worse than any of that, we were told that there would be a staff member in the sanctuary at the end of the funeral who would carry my father's cremains and usher us up to his niche. Our service ended, and no staff member was there. We waited. And waited. (This will become a theme.) No one in sight. It got awkward, as 100 mourners stared back at us wondering what the problem was. So, since we knew where the niche was, our Cantor led us up to it and we placed my father's cremains in it, recited the Mournors Kaddish and cried.
A few minutes later, as people start to disburse to the Shiva reception at my Mom's home, I'm approached by our Cantor who says that there's a problem. A Cedar Park staff member says we put my dad's cremains in the wrong niche. I go to the business office (opposite the sanctuary, guarded by plexiglass windows like a bank), where I try to inform the woman who's working there about the situation. She cuts me off as soon as I tell her there was no one there so we carried the cremains ourselves. "There was no one there?!" she snaps at me. "That's right." "There's supposed to be a staff member there." Her sharp tone implying that somehow this is MY fault. "Well, there wasn't," I'm trying to remain calm. "Hang on a minute," she says, and walks away. We wait... and wait... 15 MINUTES LATER, she returns, looking not at all pleased. The first thing she says to me, quite sharply, is, "You should have waited." So, apparently somehow it IS my fault. "I DID wait," I tell her, "Everyone was staring at us. We knew where his niche was. So we put him in the one my mother wants him to be in, next to his brother." "Well, you weren't supposed to do that," is all the staff member says back to me.
Now, I'm not here buying shoes. This isn't a McDonald's. Or the DMV. I just buried my father! You'd think, since these people actually deal with THE BEREAVED as part of their business, the first words out of this woman's mouth would be, "I'm SO SORRY for the inconvenience. Let me get this taken care of as soon as possible." But no. It's stupefying, but somehow the word "sorry" doesn't seem to be in this cemetery employee's vocabulary. Not even so much as a condolence for the loss of my father. My mom and I, and some friends standing nearby, were all stunned by her behavior and attitude. We realize mistakes get made. That's life. But to then throw the mistake back on us, to blame US for a staff member not being there, WHILE WE'RE GRIEVING, is beyond the pale.
I'll wrap this up. Long story short, it took another 15 minutes of WAITING, pointing out on the map where we put the cremains (which, again, was the correct niche where we wanted him to rest), pointing out that THEY were actually in error in whose niche belonged to my Dad, and yet more waiting, before a Cedar Park Vice President finally stepped up to make sure everything was taken care of. (No, "I'm sorry" from him either, by the way.) At that point, all of our guests had left and were either on their way or arriving at the Shiva reception. I actually missed the opportunity to speak with a number of relatives and friends who didn't make the Shiva because this issue took up all of my time after the service ended.
The treatment my mother and I received, the incredible delay in getting this very simple mistake (NOT OURS!) fixed, caused us extra, undue emotional stress and frustration on one of the most somber days of my life. I honestly can't believe how callous and terrible these people were. I mean, it's not like my family has paid them thousands of dollars for their "services." Oh wait, we have. I should add that I wrote an e-mail a week ago to Cedar Park to make them privately aware of how we were treated. They still haven't responded.
In short, FIND A BETTER CEMETERY. I already wasn't looking forward to visiting my father in his "niche". This just compounds the pain all the more, which is kinda the opposite of their business model. read more