Cancel

    Open app

    Search

    Cafe Valance

    4.0 (1 review)

    Cafe Valance Photos

    Recommended Reviews - Cafe Valance

    Your trust is our priority, so businesses can't pay to alter or remove their reviews. Learn more about reviews.
    Yelp app icon
    Browse more easily on the app
    Review Feed Illustration

    11 years ago

    Helpful 2
    Thanks 0
    Love this 2
    Oh no 0

    Verify this business for free

    Get access to customer & competitor insights.

    Verify this business

    Coffee Denn

    Coffee Denn

    2.7(3 reviews)
    0.1 mi

    Cafe's like this are dying out in Britain, and there's a reason for it, they're not quaint just…read moredated. the menu food on offer is rather boring, think sandwiches, cups of tea, coffee, and of course English breakfasts! I'll be fair it's not a dingy caf, but I found the place quite depressing. The food tasted bland, and the milkshake was simply strawberry milk. The presentation wasn't good either (very plain old looking mugs and plates). If you fancy good food and a cute cafe I recommend going over the road to Treasure (which has one out the back)!

    It is a little known fact that Sir Isaac Newton, one of the smartest people to ever walk the earth,…read moredevoted a third of his life to the pursuit of alchemy. Of course, turning base metals into something completely different was beyond even this genius. But residing in the kitchen at Coffee Denn, Mumbles, is someone who may just of cracked it. For what surely started out as simple base ingredients - egg and cheese - arrived in front of me in a material form I've never come across before. A flying saucer orb with a dark, oily crust which gave way to a polystyrene rubber compound that should take the interest of Bridgestone, Michelin and Dunlop should they be looking to develop a lighter, longer lasting tyre for use in heavy industry. The cheese-like substance providing extra grip, if the chef can work on a tread pattern, they're onto something big. Light as air but durable in the extreme. Albumem and yolk magically transformed into something with the mouth feel of a Brillo Pad. My 'omelette' was accompanied by some nachos and a salad containing a quartered up orange. I dare say if there was some Marmite and a can of tuna going spare in the store cupboard they would have happily lobbed them on the plate too. My dish was like staring into a time warp. It could easily have starred in an episode of Heartbeat. The Mumbles is a beautiful place, set as it is on Swansea Bay. But if you ever need to make a pit stop at Coffee Denn (there is surprisingly little choice), avoid the hot food here at all costs here and stick to their pretty array of cakes and scones.

    Madisons

    Madisons

    1.0(1 review)
    0.4 mi

    My girlfriend & I have used Madison's cafe,620 Mumbles road,Mumbles,Swansea SA3 4EA a few…read moretimes.Generally the staff are rude & agressive,especially if there's a massive rush & they have to serve two tables. if you ask for an alteration to the meal (Which they state on the menu they are happy to do) that's when you realise that you've really transgressed,Woe be tide you.The waiteresses REALLY DON'T LIKE THAT & leave you in no doubt of it. If you like really indigestable HARD,HARD fried eggs that you are unlikely to digest for about a month this is the place for you. Runny fried eggs are NOT in the vocabulary.If you are unreasonable enough to be seated where the staff have to pass by the back of your chair you will be knocked & banged without apology until you leave. I once sat there with my cousin waiting for our food for nearly 40 minutes while the owner of the cafe made many loud phone calls in the middle of a busy cafe relating to many of her personal medical problems including her Tourettes syndrome medication, & also varying genito-urinary problems,quite un-edifying we both began to suspect that we were victim of some prank fly on the wall TV show,but no,the only show showing was the "Madisons all-Star freakily staffed uncomfortable eatery show". It's such a shame because it's in a nice setting & the food is quite good but the attitude of the waitresses is appalling.I can't wait for them to go out of business & perhaps be taken over by civilised owners & staff. I won't be going there ever again & I would advise anyone else to try "Trams" in the arcade, a much more pleasent establisment with a great Seaview.

    Cafe Valance - coffee - Updated June 2026

    Loading...
    Loading...
    Loading...