Ah yes--the worst car rental branch office in America. Not a worst. The worst. A place so committed…read moreto operational mediocrity that it feels less like a business and more like a performance-art installation titled "What If We Simply Didn't?" You'll know you've arrived when you don't actually arrive--because there's no shuttle. Or ride. Or pickup. Or drop-off. The branch's transportation philosophy is rooted in rugged individualism: If you truly wanted a rental car, you would have walked here. Possibly uphill. In dress shoes. The phone number, proudly listed online, exists mainly as a conceptual object. It rings. And rings. And rings. No voicemail. No hold music. No human. Just the quiet assurance that somewhere, somehow, a phone is vibrating on a desk beneath a half-empty coffee cup, resolutely ignored. Calling this branch is less about communication and more about self-reflection. After the twelfth ring, you begin to ask yourself important questions. Why am I like this? Why do I still believe in systems? Upon entering the office--assuming you navigated the locked side door, handwritten sign, and conflicting hours posted on Google, the window, and the employee's mood--you'll be greeted by a line. Not a long line. A timeless line. The kind of line that doesn't move because the branch is staffed by exactly one employee who is simultaneously checking in customers, checking out customers, arguing with IT, and staring into the middle distance questioning their own life choices. This employee does not hate you. That would require energy. What they offer instead is a finely tuned indifference, sharpened by years of being asked questions they cannot answer, solve, or emotionally process. When you say, "I have a reservation," they nod slowly, as if you've just told them a ghost story they've heard before. Yes. Reservations. Those charming little suggestions you made online. Ah yes--the cars. Or rather, the idea of cars. The branch specializes in an advanced minimalist inventory strategy known as having none. You may have reserved a midsize sedan, a compact SUV, or "literally anything with wheels." What you will receive is a shrug and a philosophical lecture on scarcity. "We don't have any cars right now," they'll say, as though cars are a seasonal fruit or a migratory species that simply hasn't returned yet. "But I have a confirmation," you'll insist, clutching your email like a birth certificate. The employee will glance at the screen, which confirms your reservation perfectly, then look back at you with the calm certainty of someone who knows the universe is meaningless. "Yeah," they'll say. "That doesn't really mean anything." If, by some miracle, a car does materialize, the computer will immediately stop working. Or the printer will. Sometimes both, in a dazzling duet of technological collapse. The printer, in particular, is legendary. It hasn't printed since the Obama administration, but no one has officially declared it dead. Instead, employees perform small rituals--turning it off and on, tapping it gently, whispering threats--before announcing that you'll have to sign something later. Or never. Probably never. The branch does not give rides. This is not negotiable. Not to the airport. Not to the hotel across the street. Not even if it's raining sideways and you are carrying a child, a suitcase, and the last fragile thread of your sanity. Their stance is firm, principled, and confusing, given that transportation is, ostensibly, their entire business model. And yet--somehow--it's your fault. You should have arrived earlier. Or later. Or on a different day. You should have known there would be no cars, no answers, no printer ink, and no joy. You should have understood that this branch does not operate in linear time or basic customer service norms. It exists in a parallel dimension where expectations go to die. When you finally leave--whether with a car, a refund, or just a story you'll tell at dinner parties for years--you'll feel changed. Hardened. Wiser. You will never again take a functioning rental car office for granted. You will see shuttles and working phones and think, Wow. Civilization. And somewhere behind you, in a strip mall with faded signage, the worst car rental branch office in America will continue its quiet, heroic mission: teaching humanity that hope is optional, printers are lies, and reservations are merely decorative.

Waited for 2 hours watching three more vehicles being returned and cleaned and noone but me to pick…read moreup! De'Andre told me to go home, he will call me! Spent $50 on uber/lift waited until 4:45 pm and no call! Called the key largo location, De'Andre picked up and was like he is eating something not paying attention to the conversation! Asked me where am I?! Can I be there in 5 minutes before they close?! MAYBE there is a vehicle for me! Please invest in employee training! Otherwise company will be loosing money! Drove by the next morning, before they open, all of the returns were parked there! So my reservation and my personal comfort and safety were sabotaged by this employee! Not mentioning that the location got bad reviews!

We had a fantastic time! Think laid-back Keys "glamping" vibes -- cozy cottages with kitchens,…read moreright on the water. It feels like a retro camp resort in the best way. They offer complimentary kayaks and paddleboards for guests, and we squeezed in a morning paddle before checkout -- we saw so many manatees! It's not glamorous, but that's exactly the charm. It's authentic, relaxed, and unpretentious. There's a great variety of accommodations, from cottages to RV's to rent, making it perfect for families or anyone who loves a kitchy, waterfront escape.

We stayed here for a wedding in the sea breeze trailer and it was such a nice experience. The…read moreambience is very campy with the animals statues and neon lights everywhere I loved it. If you're looking for a classic keys stay, come here.

For our first visit to Key Largo, we stayed in the Pelican Key Largo Cottages. We knew nothing…read moreabout the area, and were hoping for the best, as I realize that even reading reviews, sometimes you don't always get what you're hoping for. First impression upon checking in with the front desk was positive. The attendant was very friendly, professional, and helpful. We were booked in Room 120 (Hibiscus), a double queen bed room, which was the first building (road side), going into the lot. Parking was free, and available on a first come, first serve basis. Unfortunately, another car deliberately blocked us in the first night of our stay. Once someone else moved their car, my husband was able to maneuver our vehicle out, but evidently, someone thought that the space we chose to park, belonged to them. The room was affordably priced; we booked through booking.com, and received a competitive rate. We visited just a few weeks prior to Memorial Day weekend (tourist season). Check in is at 3pm, but they allow you to arrive anytime after 1pm, to enjoy the docks and the free kayak rentals. We didn't arrive until around 4pm. First impression upon walking into the room was the fact that it smelled VERY clean! It didn't smell like they just plugged in some room deodorizers to mask the smell; it smelled like freshly laundered sheets (like bleach and Downy). The room was small, there was a small refrigerator, and possibly a microwave (I can't recall if a microwave was in the room, but I believe so. There was a very tiny bathroom off from the main room, with a small, one person shower (no bathtub). The lighting in the room wasn't the greatest; it came across a bit dark and cold, with little to no natural light (small windows obstructed by foliage). I wasn't crazy about the color of paint that they chose; I didn't think that it created a calming ambience. There's no carpeting, which is fine, but the floor is very cold, so I would suggest bringing house slippers or flip flops, if you don't want that on your feet. There were some gnats in the room, but I noticed that was an issue within many public spaces near the water. Outside of that, we saw no sign of any other bug life. The beds were very comfortable, and I got a great nights sleep. The room had obviously been updated with the bathroom having a modern sink/knobs/vanity, and the shower was nice and hot. No issues with the plumbing. They provided complimentary shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and lotion. There wasn't a blow dryer in the room, but you can borrow one from the office. There is no complimentary breakfast; not even just muffins, but there are several restaurants within walking distance. We chose to dine at Doc's Diner, which wasn't on their recommendations, but we found it to be exceptional. Be prepared for the free roaming chickens all over Key Largo to wake you super early. There were two roosters just outside of our window crowing at just after 6am. As for the grounds, walking down to the pier, the sunrises and sunsets are stunning, and the grounds have been kept up well, and we enjoyed them immensely. There was no loud parties or ruckus after hours, we didn't feel unsafe. There is no pool, but there is beach swimming available. There are plenty of picnic tables, chairs, and loungers. All in all, if you're looking for luxury, this isn't your place. This is budget friendly, clean, and a nice stay if you're not planning on spending a lot of time in your room. I would stay again, but I wouldn't choose the Hibiscus room, simply because it's facing the road, and you can hear traffic all night long. I would choose a room either closer to the docks, or even better, overlooking the water.

Love this place quite close to Miami rooms are super clean, Bed's and sheets are clean soft and…read moreamazing. I

What a wonderful evening! Our captain was awesome and did what ever we needed to enjoy our trip…read more Highly recommend for a small party.

We just landed after a 90 minute cruise with Captain Jim. It was so worth it and an amazing time -…read morehe knows Buttonwood Bay, the birds, the iguanas, the manatee's & dolphins. We saw hound fish, barracudas and more. Learned that this whole bay is 3-5 feet - and today it was SO clear! Jim's co-captain, Mako was so well behaved and frankly I'm kinda sorry the cruise is done - till next time!

We stayed here for one night on our trip to Key West. We arrived late and left early, so can't say…read morea lot about the resort itself. The rooms we had were very small but clean and that's what counts. Overall we felt very welcomed. Why only 4 stars? The AC was far too loud, basically no sleep possible with having it running. They also offer free Kajaks, but we didn't use them. Would I go again, probably yes.

This is a NO NO No stay, do not fall for any of the five star reviews. This place is not charming…read morebut it is a group of shacks. There is no peace and quiet, there is no deal as you are paying premium for a broke down non-maintenance "lack of charm" roach infested shack. The beach is dirty and the lack of control of other guests by the staff puts your safety at risk. The local police have one solution, kick both parties who have a squabble out and the manager goes along with that and keeps your money. LET'S ELABORATE: THERE ARE MUCH BETTER ACCOMODATIONS PROVIDERS IN KEY LARGO: This place is a cash grab; in all the reviews I read they offer no refunds for the most extreme circumstances. Once you give them your card number they take and will not refund for any reason. They kicked me out because I expected a quiet clean beach side experience for my thousand dollars and I got a drunk new York lady with a radio and a loud kid that kept yelling "Hey Ma". I was in the waterside unit so there was no escape from this noise. Even going inside was no good as the windows are single pane flimsy awning / jalousie style windows from the 1950's. I stayed here at least five times and fooled myself as I enjoyed the what used to be silent clean beach. The beach used to be clean and quiet. After all you do not check into this property for the room quality or maintained facility or services or amenities as there are none. You stay here for the quiet beach and the view, to swim in salt water. ROACHES AND FUMIGATION CHEMICALS: Upon arrival for this visit there was a cabin unit that was tented with signs of poisonous chemicals. The cabin was un-tented the second day and being readied to rent. We commented if it were roaches or rats that was the reason for the tent and later discovered that it was most likely roaches. I will elaborate later in this review. WORN, SMELLY, DATED FURNISHINGS: When we checked in we noticed that the unit had very few updates since our last visit a year ago. There was a large dining table with glass top and beneath the glass was a display of shells and tropical life. This visit revealed that the glass and shells were gone, and a piece of some sort of white board glued on top to cover what must have been broken glass. The makeshift repair is signature for this place. A person does not stay here for the room quality, does not stay here for the cleanliness and does not stay here for any other reason than the once silent clean peaceful beach that is now noisy and full of cigarette butts and bear bottle caps. The unit does have newer cabinets, stove, sink and refrigerator. GARBAGE IN THE BAY WATER, FISHING HOOKS EVERYWHERE: The bay where one swims has three discarded tires from a car or trailer or some sort of vehicle. These rubber tires are covered with sea growth indicating that they have been there for some time. I picked many pieces of garbage out of the water, broken sunglasses, mask trim pieces, metal shards, many fishing hooks and weights with fishing line attached, cigarette butts, etc. Its like swimming at Sanford and Sons. RUDE NOISY GUESTS: Upon this visit there was a lady and her kids on the beach yelling back and forth with each other. The lady had a radio that she kept turning up to full volume. It was very annoying to say the least as she was right outside of our door and living room windows and was heard inside the unit. At one point the radio was turned down so I went outside to enjoy the beach and she quickly turned the radio up to full volume. I told her the radio was better before she turned the volume to full level. I explained taht this is a public space and the radio was unbearable to most guest who were seeking a peaceful stay. The lady ended up being drunk and started spouting profanity and nastiness at me. She called me slurs, after hearing this several times I returned by calling her a nasty name. She got on her phone and called someone and was talking loudly saying she was "going to need bail money" because she was "going to shoot me" and "if I have one more drink I'm going to go up there and punch him in the face." She had got on her phone earlier and done similar loud talk when my friends were out there and they went inside. I called the desk and the clerk came out and tried to speak to the lady yet the clerk came to me and told me "I have done all I can do, I spoke to her and told her the beach is meant to be quiet, but I do not think she will be quiet as she is obviously drunk." She further indicated that she would stay at the side of the building for a bit to make sure things do not get worse. I asked what she wanted me to do if the noise and threats continued and she advised that I call the police. This woman continued her karen behavior and then I called the police. The police said they spoke to all beach goers and the heard me yelling at the woman. They said the manager was kicking both parties out and that we needed to pack and leave.

This is a laid-back "Keys-y" kinda place, a hidden gem right on Buttonwood Sound in Key Largo. The…read morecoolest thing is that each cottage comes with its own Catalina 22', a very stable easy-to-sail boat with a swing keel (or a fin keel) and a little 4HP motor. We had so much fun exploring the sound, North Nest Key and the mangroves in the Everglades National Park and made memories to last a lifetime! The resident staff - Jenn, Chuck, and Mike - are so welcoming, and helpful, and they take great care of the property and boats - not just the Catalina sailboats, but a Sunfish, a Hobie Wave, numerous kayaks, and paddle boards - and fishing gear. Cottages are a little quirky, and if you stay in the Main house, a lot quirky, but I found that to be part of the charm. My fellow sailors just found it weird. But we were able to comfortably fit 4 adults in the cottage and watch the Olympics on a TV the size of a dining room table every evening. Such a wonderful place we are planning an annual trip

My wife and I stayed here for 3 nights, mainly for the use of the sailboat associated with the…read morecottage. Unfortunately the wind picked up on the second day and a small craft warning stopped us from sailing after day 1. We stayed in the "Captains Cottage", which turned out to be a lot nicer than the photos -- close to the water, and quite nice inside. The place itself, as others have noted, is pretty quirky and could be seen as run down, but we liked the charm. Along with the sailboat there were lots of kayaks, two smaller sailboats and other watercraft all available at no extra charge. People gathered each evening in the waterfront hut to have a beer and chat. After a couple of days we felt like we were part of a family there, and when we moved on to a condo in Tavernier we really missed that feeling. Practically next door are two nice waterfront restaurants (Snooks and Bayside) with great waterfront views. We are recommending this place to everyone we meet!

First time staying at this hotel and it went well. It has a resturant downstairs, we tried going at…read more1pm but they said it opens at 4pm. We stayed in a room with a king size bed. Bathroom has pink tiles, it was so cute. Room was spacious. Had a fridge and small coffee maker. The bathroom shower didn't have much pressure, water was either super hold or super cold. The bed was SO comfortable!!!!! Air conditioning was great, we had it at 69 degrees. Hotel is a little out dated but still a nice stay. I enjoyed it. I loved how it was 10 mins away from everything. Great location. No pets and no smoking. We didn't use the pool but it looked inviting. I did enjoy this hotel. Nice getaway for Valentine's Day.

Bugs. Not great spend more money sleep here if desperate. Other guest had dead cockroaches in their…read moreroom. Tried to change rooms the other room was clean but the AC did not work.