If You Don't Want To Get Somewhere EVER You Should Call Boston Cab. Then You Should Smash Your Own Head In With The Phone Out Of Frustration.
Seriously, are you kidding me? HOW ARE YOU A SUCCESSFUL, NON-BANKRUPT BUSINESS? Here is a list of why I hate Boston Cab in order ranked from Most Infuriating Thing Ever to Still Slightly More Infuriating Than When People All Push In And Out Of One Door When There Are Two Doors Available For Use (my long-time greatest pet peeve before Boston Cab came into my life).
1. Only one out of every ten cab drivers knows where things are in and around Boston.
Storrow Drive. Comm Ave. Tremont Street. If you don't know where these things are, and you are a cab driver, you should look into a f*cking career change. And honestly, I expect you to know your entire way around Boston. And if I live on a random tiny street, which I do, I expect you to have tools that will allow you to find your way. If I am going to a random street, I expect you to be able to discern its location, bc chances are if I am taking a cab WHICH I AM, I dont have a car, and thus have never driven there and DO NOT KNOW THE WAY.
Let me make an analogy. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I am an attorney. I know, you'd expect me to be more boring and less awesome, but there it is. Specifically, I am a litigator, so I do a lot of research and writing and I tell you how to get unscrewed when you're screwed. This doesnt mean I know ALL THE LAW. This means that in my training, I've been given tools that allow me to figure out the answer to your questions. The following is an example of how a conversation would go if you were a prospective client and I was a lawyer with the job-skill equivalent of a Boston Cab driver.
Client: Jen S., glad I caught you. I have this legal problem. I'm getting sued for all this crap and I'm in a lot of trouble. What should I do?
Jen S.: Well, what's the relevant law?
Client: Well...that's kinda what I was hoping you could tell me...that's why I need a lawyer.
Jen S.: Well, do you know how I should figure out the relevant law?
Client: Um, no, because I'm not a lawyer. What's my best argument?
Jen S.: [Doesn't respond because she is now mid-phone call in another language.]
This would never happen, bc if it DID happen, I would be f*cking FIRED. Fired. If your entire job is to know one set of skills and you don't know them, you should be fired, and then set on fire. By me.
2. They say they're coming, and then never come. I mean, they just don't come.
Sometimes Jen S. has travel plans. That's when I get the most pissed about this. Because normally, I can just walk out onto the street and catch a cab. But if I need to get to the airport, and I have tons of heavy crap, I am not going to run all over the North End trying to cab-catch. Im going to want to call you and have you come to my house. And being that you're a taxi service, that's actually what you're paid to do, you giant sacks of shit. Once I almost missed my train home because I called Boston cab 3 times and they just didn't come. So I frantically, sweatily ran outside with all my stuff (it was xmastime and I had bags of gifts like f-ing Santa Claus) and tried to hail a cab. Cabs just passed me bc they probably thought I was going to the airport and didn't want to take me there. Finally, I got a call from Boston Cab that they were at my house. I ran back to my house and got in and the guy has the audacity to say "you went out onto the street after you called??? You arent supposed to do that you know" in a bitchy tone. Um, REALLY? After close to 50 minutes of calling 3 times and having no cab show up, I should just stay at my house hoping and praying and miss my train? My hatred was at its peak level.
3. They run the meter starting from when they see you from across the street, before they go 3 blocks up the street, do the U-Turn, sit at the red light, then stop and pick you up. Sometimes it's worse. See related story:
This happens all the time, but one story stands out. A Boston Cab picks me up at my crib, and when he pulls up and I get in, I see the meter is already at 4.25, so he's been running it on his way to get me. He starts driving, and I immediately say "you were running the meter before you picked me up, can you please reset it." He basically says no. I say "Well thats fine, but I'll be subtracting the difference from the fare." He flips out, and tells me to get out of his cab, which at this point is almost on the highway. I say "Are you actually kicking me out?" He says yes, so I cuss him out, get out, and leave his back door open for good measure so that he has to get out too, come around the car and close it. I hate you.
4. Who are you talking to on that phone?
I tried to explain this, but Yelp wont let me write anymore. Maybe Yelp is intimidated by the awesomeness of this review. Oh well. I hate Boston Cab. read more