I have previously with the cunning use of living 150 miles away, moving for a while to rural Spain and regularly changing both my addresses and my appearance, managed to avoid spending too much time with my child relatives. Not that I don't like children you understand, just that I struggle in an adult way to handle their snot dribbling orifices, sticky hands, poorly explained/inexplicable needs and judgemental little eyes...often resulting in my behaving more childlike than they are themselves and prompting their rapid removal by their concerned parents.
But eventually it was going to happen, I had my 14 year old niece and 10 year old nephew up for the weekend.
Beamish immediately sprang to mind.
It's a slog I'm not going to lie. At least an hour and a half up the road towards Newcastle, but fear NOT. The gods in their good graces have deemed it prudent to produce an entire generation who cannot perceive a world outside of their various and compelling handheld electronic devices. An IPad and a Nintendo DS later and I heard not a single tiny peep from either of them for almost 90 minutes. Thank YOU Zeus!
Beamish is an entire recreated Victorian town- there's a high street, manor house, pit, steam train, parks, farm, chip shop and farming cottages all spread over a large valley site with real reconditioned trams and buses to carry you from one place to another.
That's another thing Zeus has apparently hit the youth with- a complete and utter fear of using their legs. And I mean even for 100 metres. I'm no Zola Budd but DUDES, it's only 100 metres???!!!
So could this place be ANY more perfect for a day out? Not really! The fish and chips were declared 'the best ever', the lady behind the counter at the confectioners is still receiving treatment for two burst ear drums, various animals have been poked and prodded and declared to be either 'cool' or 'boring' (NB cows are boring, giant terrifying pigs are cool) and all in all we managed to stuff some actual history and educational experience into their nonsense filled little brain domes without them even really realising it. Let me just reiterate here.....a 10 year old boy and a 14 year old girl. Bloody well done Beamish!
It's not a cheap day- if I recall it's around £15 an adult and £10 a child BUT that gives you a year pass to go back as many times as you like, which when considering the sheer scale of the site and the numerous different options with the seasons is a good deal.
I really really like Beamish. It has the balance just right- even the most disobliging child can simply be placed on a vintage tram and left to complete circuits whilst you take other more pleasant offspring off to tickle baby ducks. And if that doesn't work there's a really good chance you can lose them in the dark mine.
As I said, it's not that I don't LIKE kids............. read more