Have you ever been so fucking bored at your dead end job? Sitting there on an evening shift contemplating suicide while the rest of the population is at home enjoying a peaceful spring evening? And the only thing you have to look forward to (other than dying) is the measly 30 minute lunch break where you can leave your dungeon and see the sun?
This is my life. I live this 6 days a week and for those 30 minutes a day I have one thing to look forward to.
If a kiss were a raindrop, I'd send it showers. If hugs were a second, I'd send it hours. If smiles were water, I'd send it the sea. If love were a person, I'd send it me.
I am talking of course, about A&W's chipotle mayo.
This exquisite dipping sauce is the fedora to my neckbeard, the milk to my cereal.
Because of my short and strict 30 minute break, It is a must that I pick up my order from the drive thru. This is fine because whilst driving and listening to My Chemical Romance on the way to the restaurant, I get a tingly feeling inside. And once I drive over the hill and see the large A and W letters... I can't help but out a sigh of relief.
With coupon in hand, I place my order with an extra side of chipotle mayo. I take my food, turn up my Chemical Romance to 11 and wipe the last tear from my cheek because I now have her.
Now, the hardest part is driving home with that greasy bag of food sitting on your passanger seat. You will have an unbelievable urge to drive into oncoming traffic so you don't have to go back to your depressing job and listen to how your fellow coworker is going to the local sporting event tomorrow with their infant daughter. Or have pictures of the "cute" outfit she wore on the first day of fucking preschool slammed in your face the same way a pair of testicles is slammed into a cheap hookers face.
But once I get back to work, all is well for the 3 minutes it takes me to inhale my meal. Then it is back to hell until tomorrow. read more