The directors welcomed me into the home while I was pregnant. They bought me gifts and a container…read moreof hygiene items. I had my own room, my own bathroom, and a changing station for my baby. Whatever I wanted to eat all I had to do was put it on a list, and give it to them. They went and got it. :-) In the beginning it was nice.
The volunteers were too absorbed in the guest moms that resided there. Moms felt like they were being investigated by the volunteers because everything that they talked to the volunteers about they would tattle to the directors. The volunteers could not be trusted to keep anything to themselves. Moms always felt on guard.
There were too many instructions posted throughout the home. It was way too legalistic there. There would be instructions prohibiting anyone from adjusting the air conditioning, instructing guests to always close the pantry door, requirements to write down one's full schedule and explain where the guest would be and when the guest would return, curfews began to get enforced, criticism would be given out if schedule was not to the directors' liking, volunteers would be in the mom's face as soon as she walked in the door, volunteers would nag in the morning about moms being exposed too much by going to so many places, demands were put in for moms to wash their hands and change their clothes upon entering the house, if the volunteers did not see the moms washing their hands because they were in the bathroom, then they would make wild accusations to the directors, moms would be forced to read Catholic faith material in the morning, directors would call moms on the phone with wild accusations about not doing chores, the way moms reared their children would be criticized, directors would put guests' children on written schedules, guests on an organized chart for chores, threaten to contact the police if mom's did not provide full accounts of where they would be throughout the day, et cetera. Even if the guest mom was new and did not know the rules yet the volunteer would tattle to administration about that. There would be too many board meetings designed to control the moms on a schedule while at the mercy house, write more letters enforcing more rules, and spending way too much time policizing the guests. Volunteers would come into the room or in the bathroom if guests did not hear them calling. That's an invasion of privacy. Moms are required to sign over their constitutional rights to privacy as collateral for residing there. Moms' rooms and belongings were subject to search at any time for any reason by any board member or director. Long notes criticizing what was in the room would be left. Long notes about chores and threatening to make moms move out would be left.
Conditions became more restrictive and more stressful as COVID infections began to spread. No guests were permitted into the home anymore. Residents were not allowed to visit with their families. No males were allowed in the house.
If a mom had a schedule that started early in the morning, then the volunteer would have to get up to let the mom out for work or whatever was in her schedule. Residents were not allowed to have a key, and any infraction of the rules resulted in being counseled at least twice or thrice by both directors and the volunteers. Gossip, lies, and misunderstandings took place as a result of so many people being involved in communicating with residents. The director accused me of lying once instead of asking more questions about something she did not understand. Board members were prejudiced to moms of different races and backgrounds. It became increasingly stressful communicating with directors, and the residents that lasted the longest at the Divine Mercy House were those that did not talk to administration and/or board members for months. The more open you were to communicating with them, the more restrictions were imposed either through talking or writing. I did not realize that until after being there.
I was someone that genuinely needed the services that this place had to offer but they acted like they owned the residents as though residents had to continually keep explaining themselves. It was economically abusive there.
I was pregnant and living in an abusive family situation. I slept on the floor. I was not on the lease. My brothers contaminated my food and found other ways to harass me by damaging my property. Whenever it came down to deciding to meet my own needs or keep supporting my family I would choose my family and my needs would still not be met. I would still be suffering. I needed the housing offered at this place because there was no room for me and my baby at Pinewood Point building 7. After I delivered my baby, brothers still demonstrated carelessness and they showed material support out of obligation to the head of household's requests. Being at the Divine Mercy House would have been less stressful after delivery, but there were just too many rules.
