In the name of the father, the son and the holy Yelp.
It has been 23 days plus some decades since my last confession...
Oh Yelp father, I have sinned. Like, really sinned...
What's that you ask??
Which one of the 10 commandments??
Well, as shameful as it is, I have committed.............
adultery - OH, THE SHAME!!!!
Oh sorry, I shall be quiet. Please hear my story oh Yelp father.
It was a warm humid summery Amsterdam evening. My hair was so long, it would flow in the wind like the sands of time. Knowing I could no longer suffer a day more with this hairstyle, I immediately went to book a reservation with my hair stylist when I saw that.... well.... it was his day off!!!!! I ran my fingers through my hair feeling more disgusted every strand of hair that trickled off of my naked fingers. The thought of having to face the outside world looking like a black yorkshire terrier died on my head was too much for me to bare.
Oh Yelp father, what was I to do!! So I started looking at other available hair stylists. The sinful lust began to consume my inner thoughts (and a little in my pants - wink wink) as I looked through all the names... And then, I saw him.
Pascal
Pascal is a name derived from something related to Easter so I thought to myself... this is clearly hair stylist adultery, but the big J would approve since Pascal is in someway related to his big day!
Later that evening, I walked in Wild Romance covering my excitement with a layer of Catholic guilt. Pascal was there. His casual demeanor was cancelled by the seriousness of his face. One glance into those French eyes and I knew that he was going to do things with my hair that have never been done - and I was gonna like it!!!
As I sat down and took several sips from my first beer to ease the tension, I explained to Pascal that god has punished the top of my head with a quick onset of balding and that my head can only be made whole again with the right hair cut. With this ambiguous direction, Pascal lifted his instrument, and closed in.
When I think of artists, I imagine a frustrated painter demanding perfection for every stroke of his brush. The Asian pianist who will slam at the keyboard after a missed note. And then there is Pascal. The hair artist who silently orbits my head honing in on each and every piece of hair to create the most balanced cut. At some points, I was reminiscent of a hummingbird hovering around my head quickly fixing minute inconsistencies only visible to a small fraction of the animal kingdom.
I sat there in awe of what was being done to me. The extreme concentration of every little detail with the end result of THE perfect haircut. You know the kind that makes you smile as you walk out whilst boosting your confidence thrice fold! Of course, as any respectable artist should be, I caught a glance of Pascal overlooking the work he just performed on me with a satisfied and slightly boastful semi-smile.
Oh Yelp father... now that I'm telling you all this, I'm feeling less and less ashamed! In fact, if committing hair stylist adultery is a sin, then I have been sinning with Pascal for the last 8 MONTHS!!! You know, screw this man - I'm gonna continue seeing Pascal!!! Thanks for the pep talk!!!
pssss..... here is his card in case you want a good time :) read more