Shampoo, Rinse, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat, Check for more mud chunks, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat, Give up on clean hair, Courtesy Condition, Rinse.
First off, Happy MF'n B-Day to the one and only Dana G, who chose to "Do the Dash" as her birthday celebration. And me, not being one to let a friend spend their birthday ballz deep (and then some) in mud and alone, I decided that I too would ring in La Dia De Dana crusted in caca.
Was it awesome? Yes. Was it disgusting? F yes. Would I do it again? Mmm, maybe, probably, I hate making plans so far in advance.
First off, like my gal Dana G said, the parking lot is a clustercuss. Not so much the order of it all, but the condition of the lot is redonk. Tire treads so deep that your (Dana's) muffler will likely be torn off by the ground level mud, abandoned shoes and undies, and a cesspool that cars are sinking into, men are peeing into, and women and children are "bathing" themselves in. So, good luck with all that jazz.
Check in was sooo much easier than I expected- downright lax, in fact, but I was a little peeved after the fact because when you first purchase your WD tix online you're super pumped and given the option to order an extra Warrior helmet and those little black out eye thingy's that football players have on but with the warrior logo on it. I totally bought extra shizz online and was charged for that shizz, but that shizz was not given in my check in biz-nast. So, Warrior dash defo owes me more than a couple bills. I recommend buying nothing extra if you register. You can get all that crap at the fest should you really want it, and at least that way you're guaranteed to get it.
Next year, if I go, I think I prob won't register and I'll just do the dash without paying. There are no checks and the time you sign up for a race really doesn't matter at all. What the $40-50 registration fee gets you is basically a beer token with a tracking thing in it and a number, then your free tee and helmet. Now that I have the tee that I'll probably never wear and the helmet that I plan on wearing everyday, I can do without the number and found that people are giving away/ dropping their beer tokens left and right so no worries there- and let's be honest I'm never gonna have a winning time so I don't really care about tracking that either. I was looking forward to seeing myself in all photos from the sport photogs they promoted as being all over but I was super disappointed that besides the end, there's only one lame spot with a photographer and it's where you basically step up onto a box and step back down. LAME.
I was also expecting it to be a little more hardcore than it was. I'm gonna lay it out there and say that you don't have to be in much or any shape to do this thing. I'm sure it's harder if you're out of shape but for me, the hardest part was seeing spiders on two of the obstacles as I was climbing, the sun- because I'm a sweaty Betty and my having my wet bangs in my eyes was annoying, and also the jumping over fire part because I'm a walking fire hazard with all the residual hairspray caked to my scalp- so natch, I was a little nervous ,... otherwise, it was kind of a piece of cake. I'm not complaining- Lord knows I'm not looking for a new way to push myself, but it's not something you have to train for.
Lastly, I'm 100% positive that when we signed up back in November or December that they advertised craft beer being available at the fest. What WAS available at the fest? F*cking Coors lite. Awww, hellz no. Plus a guy got on the speaker thing in the beer tent to tell tell everyone the beer was going to either take forever or be all foam and warm. Sooo, don't plan on your beer tasting as delicious as you thought it would when you were running the course and climbing all that crap. The food was pretty good for a mud festival at least. They offered veggie options and both our boyfriends LOVED the giant smoked turkey leg.
It's now the day after and I'm defo sore and sick but not surprised considering the amount of poopy mud I ate trying to be a bad ass and get extra filthy for the cheering crowd. Next year I won't try to be such a hero now that I know you don't get to rinse off besides a minuscule time being shot in the face with a fire-hose. If I'd had any cash on me I would've slipped the hose guy a Benji to hose my mud butt b/c it's hard to imagine just how disgusting you'll feel all over, but mostly in your pants, after this muddy but super fun race. read more