The other day, when visiting Curly Friend in Altrincham, I had a bit of a Waitrose blow-out. I love Waitrose. I love it to bits, and the fact that there isn't a Waitrose in the city centre baffles me, quite frankly. They'd make an absolute fortune, and could probably poach some of the M&S shoppers too.
Anyway, Waitrose is great, despite confining itself to the 'burbs. I bummed on about Waitrose so much this weekend, that this exchange happened between me and Curly Friend:
Me: Ohhhh, I do love Waitrose. I love it so. They sell whole artichokes and scrummy stuffed vine leaves and really super jams that is even better than Bon Maman!
CF: Becca, shut UP about Waitrose.
Me: But don't you see, Curly Friend, I am a proper person now! I buy food from Waitrose and my wine glasses make that 'woooooo' noise when you do that thing on the rim....and...
CF: Becca. You still habitually go to work with laddered tights, or tights covered in fluff. At least once a week you are astonished to find that you have been wearing your pants back to front or inside out. You make miaowing noises at your cat in a conversational manner, even though he obviously knows you don't speak cat. You spend more time in your slanket than is decent. And you still don't understand tax. No amount of buying whole artichokes and posh pizzas will change that. You are NOT a proper person yet.
Me: ...........and they sell lovely flowers, and their toilet roll is awesome and I got nice bubble bath....
CF: *FACEPALM*
Me: ...and their baguettes are lush and the cat food is't great but that's OK because last week we bought enough IAMs to sink a barge and...
CF: *spontaneously combusts, possibly due to close proximity to my burning passion for Waitrose*
Add to all this that the people at the Alty branch are super nice, and that the lady on the counter gave me the Observer supplement magazines that a previous customer hadn't wanted, for free, and it's basically the best shop in the 'burbs. Maybe even the world...
...and they have offers on wine and the kitchen roll is as good as Bounty and their cookies are ace and... read more