If Yelp's rating system were, instead of giving more stars for being good, a rating system with dicks, the more dicks you get the worse your company was, I would give Veteran's Cab 5 dicks. Seeing as I have to even give them one star and can't give negative stars, they get a star.
I hopped into one of their cabs last night (I think....I'll admit up front I was drinking and I vaguely remember getting into a red, green and white Prius cab, which the internet told me was Veteran's) and was promptly taken to my house. At some point I dropped my phone in it and didn't notice, probably because I was too busy getting felt up by some hot guy and that is understandably distracting. Anyway, as soon as I get home I have that pants-shitting moment of terror when I realize my phone is just gone. I emptied my purse full of half-eaten tacos and condoms and no phone. BLAST!
So I call Veteran's and talk to the douchiest dispatcher from hell who probably has no girlfriend or a fat wife, as he is a miserable curmudgeon (like me...I have no girlfriend, but wait I'm not even gay or AM I?). I tell him the situation, hear him ask over the radio if anyone has found a phone where I was dropped off (literally 2 minutes earlier), and hear him in the background arguing with at least one and as many as two cab drivers, providing such witty comebacks as "Yeah I know you heard me, I'm GLAD you heard me!" And then back to me "Sorry, nobody's found a phone." Uhh....really? I just left it in there, you can't ask again, this time while NOT BEING A DICK TO EVERYONE? When I said this (not the being a dick part) he yells back at me "WELL I'M NOT THE ONE WHO LOST MY PHONE IN A CAB, YOU DID!" and then immediately hung up on me. So helpful yay thanks man!
This story has a happy ending, for those of us who immediately feel the need to seek death revenge upon any who ever slightly cross us, aka me and Moammar Ghaddafi. I still haven't found my phone (hope someone's really enjoying my shitty iPhone screen that sprouted a bunch of black lines after I dropped it a few times possibly while texting during sex and all of my boring non-sexy pictures), but I was able to call back to the same dispatcher who asked "Is this the same girl who just called about her phone?" and I was able to respond FLAWLESSLY by telling him to go fuck himself with his shitty job! It was like telling off everyone who ever called me fat in middle school by displaying hot pictures of myself in bikinis on facebook and telling them to go fuck themselves! read more