I'm sad to write this, but Pandit Kalyan Sharma was asked to preside over the funeral and cremation of a loved one in Fremont.
First, he showed up late at the funeral home, and I was witness to the awkward situation of the funeral home director asking the family when "the priest" would arrive. Next, when interacting with this Pandit, and when he was given the Gotra of the deceased's male relative (performing the rites), he incredulously looked around saying in Hindi, "Does anyone here understand a word coming out of his mouth?" like he was being insulted, all in front of the attendees.
Next during the actual Vedic shloka in front of the deceased, he talked about... get this - Indian Prime Minister Modi, and brought up the Lavatory when talking about the deceased's journey to make his poorly formulated points to the grieving. Read that again. Pandit Kalyan thought bringing up politics and a toilet analogy would provide cooling relief to weeping eyes... How inappropriate and squeamish to listen to. I was embarrassed that the family had to juxtapose seeing their loved one with the nonsense this person was spewing from his mouth.
Also, this service was being live-streamed to folks in India who couldn't make the funeral. All the speakers were asked to speak into the mic. When Pandit Kalyan Sharma was asked to speak into it, he threw up his hands "I don't do that!", and spoke in a loud voice, "Can everyone here hear me?" He was informed that loved ones online wanted to hear - but he kept nodding his. Again he asked aloud "can people in the back hear me?" It was like he was absent-minded but also being selective with his hearing. And mind you - this is all in front of the crying family. During this part, the family in India were sending WhatsApp messages informing how they couldn't hear what was going on.
But it gets worse.
When we arrived to the crematorium, he asked the crematory personnel to provide a tin foil tray. The staff there scoffed at him, telling us "this guy has been here so many times, he never brings or tells family what to bring ".
And here is this Pandit's most offensive action -- when the loved one's havan (rites) was finished, he picks up his arms in a circular, casual gesture exclaiming in Hindi, "okay, you may take the body now!"
The callousness of this guy is offensive. Knowing shlokas in Sanskrit doesn't make you a spiritual person. He proudly boasts his IQ through his arrogance, but this person lacks EQ. The emotional intelligence to see a grieving family, and instead of offering solace, performs antics so things are done exactly as he's used to.
In the end, the rites were performed. The deceased was remembered. But to have such a heavy day handled by someone like this Pandit was an unnecessary emotion that didn't need to be there.
I pray no one needs a Pandit for funeral services. But it does happen. And should you need one, please do not make the mistake of hiring "Pandit" Kalyan. I have never attended a funeral where the deceased, the family, and the grieving attendees were disrespected by a Religious figure. read more