My Vatican City Triptych
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Are you going to see the Pope?
My sister laughed when I answered her question: Not if I can help it.
Why not? You don't want to see the Pope?
Hell no I don't want to see the Pope. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure I miss him.
Why do you say that? The Pope is cool.
Yeah, the Pope is cool, I answered. I have all the respect in the world for the Holy Father.
So why don't you want to see him?
I said, because I know if I run into him he's going to want to hang out with me all day and I'm not down with that.
What in hell are you talking about? The Pope is going to want to hang out with you?
Of course the Pope would want to hang out with me, I answered. Think about it, all the guy does is pray and work every day. He never goes on Vacation. Never gets a day off. I have no doubt whatsoever he'd jump at the chance to sneak out of his Palace and hang out with me.
Shaking her head in disbelief she asked, So, what's wrong with that? What's your problem?
Look, I told her, I don't want to be rude but the guy is a total Buzz Kill. It's like he became Pope and he forgot how to party. And if you go out somewhere with him, what are the chances the guy is ever going to pick up a check? I bet he doesn't even carry a wallet.
She laughed and said, He took a Vow of Poverty, you moron.
You're just proving my point, I replied.
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So, I went to Vatican City and I managed to avoid His Holiness. And that's probably a good thing.
Because just in case I did run into him, I had a few things on my mind that he was going to hear about.
Like, why is there no discount for former Altar Boys on admission to the Vatican Museum? What's up with that?
I mean, no Altar Boy discount after requiring me to learn the Mass in Latin. No discount after all those years of getting up early 5 days a week to serve at 7 o'clock Mass. Huh? After serving at countless weddings for people who never tipped the Altar Boys. After serving Christmas Midnight Mass every year.
All that dedication and I can't even get a discount to see the your Art Collection from like 5 or 600 years ago?
Not cool, bro.
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Visiting Vatican City was a dream come true. It was even more spectacular than I had imagined it would be.
It is one of the most emotional travel experiences I have ever had. It hit me even before stepping a foot inside St Peter's or the Vatican Museums.
I felt my heart racing as we walked the last block down Via di Porta Angelica before entering St Peter's Square. Cutting through the colonnade and entering the square was almost overwhelming. I slowly turned around to take it all in. Then I slowly turned around again.
Through teary eyes I stared at the dome of St Peter's for the longest time. I thought about the story of Michelangelo and Pope Julius II.
Then I turned and my gaze moved along the tops of the colonnades added by Bernini, that define the piazza in front of the basilica. One by one I tried to check out each of the 140 statues of different Saints.
I thought surely I can name a few of these guys. But try as I might, I couldn't. Not one of them. Quite embarrassing, actually.
Embarrassing because it exposed how little I knew about the iconography of Christian art. Just a couple hundred years ago a typical visitor here would have easily been able to identify many if not most of the Saints in question.
For generations Artists used easily recognizable accoutrements to help a largely illiterate audience identify the Saint being portrayed.
Since St Peter, who Catholics count as the first Pope, was given the Keys to the Kingdom of Heaven by Jesus, when you see keys in a religious artwork, it's a good guess you are looking at a representation of a Pope.
St Peter himself is easily to identify in an artwork by his symbol, an upside down crucifix. The story is when he was condemned to be crucified by the Romans, Peter requested to be crucified upside down because he felt unworthy to die in the same manner as Jesus.
I pushed my ignorance of the iconography out of my mind and focused on the overall effect of the nameless statues on top of the colonnades. They seem to me like loving guardians watching over the endless procession of pilgrims that visit Vatican City year in and year out.
All around me tour groups gathered and were lectured by their leaders. Random Priests and Nuns walked here and there through the crowds. Pigeons swooped down from on high, fighting over crumbs dropped by careless visitors.
Before I left the square I took a hard look all around me. I wanted to remember this scene forever.
Mikey C says: and I will. read more