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    3.0 (2 reviews)
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    Phoenix New Times

    Phoenix New Times

    2.9(19 reviews)
    9.1 mi

    Dear New Times, I…read moredon't quite understand why the reviewers here are so down on you but can only conjecture how most aren't strip club aficionados, in need of a good car stereo at low, low, prices, or, have little interest in attending concert events featuring eighties bands who've been relegated to 'Behind the Music-where are they now'. But that's precisely why I love you. Without you, how would I have ever known Chesty Morgan was performing a one-night only gig at Bourbon Street? I've never seen 96FFFF tits prior to or since that day, so kudos for that one. The image of her hot air balloon tits will be forever seared into my spank bank. A triumphant five stars. As for the car stereo places featuring the 'One dollar install', what a load of shit those places are. They may only charge a buck to install, but you can get the same piece of equipment on Crutchfield Online for half the money, and, get a high school dropout to install it for a couple of blunts. So no stars for those thieving fucks. And your classifieds? I love them-particularly the variety. Men seeking women. Women seeking men. Bi-men seeking racially bigoted trans-gendered she-male dominatrix. Women seeking goats. Is there no end to your ever-growing list of deviant captions? Five more stars, but mainly for your consideration of the deviant-sex aficionado whose only outlet prior to your varietal classifieds was either NAMBLA or a henhouse. Another section of your paper I love is the call girl ads. Yet five more stars and big fat mega props to your devoting page after page to these industrious eager beavers. I can't begin to tell you how consoling it is to know that when it's my turn to host poker night, I can choose from any number of 'college coeds' to make certain my soiree is the hit of the season. Although, I can't give you a bunch of stars on this one. Not only did one of my buddies lose a stack that night at poker, he also lost his longtime girlfriend, and, with no medical insurance, his low-rent romance cost him a couple of trips to the clinic. You may want to look into this. Maybe put one of your reporters on the case, since it tends to irretrievably fuck-up people's lives when some so-called college co-ed shows up to the party with STD's powerful enough to take down a village in the Sudan. Major party foul. Anyway, overall, I have to give you high marks. Between Chesty's uber titties, 'mostly' disease-free call girls, and, seeing at least two of the original Eagles perform at some Indian Casino way the hell out in BFE, my life has only been greatly enhanced by what most here caption as an uninformative rag. I find you anything but. PS One of the call girls in your classifieds conveniently forgot to mention how she was in possession of one very large dick. This was a nice surprise. Again, perhaps fodder for one of your investigate journalists.

    I made a huge mistake to get in bed with phoenix new times. I signed a contract for their local SEO…read moreservices and have been paying 350 a month to have them send me the same report I can look up on google. They show no progress to brining in more clients to my business. on top of not performing well at their job they hide the cancellation fees in the contract. when you see the contract it shows nothing about cancellation. you have to click on a link to go to another page then scroll to the bottom. Don't make the same mistake its a scam.

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    Trends Magazine - printmedia - Updated May 2026

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