Originally this place would not allow anyone to wear any kind of shoes, OR to go barefoot. Hence it…read morewas called Sockport for a long time. Then it became the capital of "saying something twice in different ways", which is why it was known as Dockport for years. Then it became "the Switzerland of WNY" and was known affectionately as "Clockport" for awhile. Then gang violence took over and it adopted the moniker "School Of Hard Knocksport." This caused everyone to put Locks on their doors... and bam. You have the present-day name.
Actually think I gave Lockport a bad rap when I gave it a rap before although I didn't actually rap about it but I can rap about it as you see if you've read of my other reviews for a rap endlessly about other things that one might rap about.
So here's the thing. It's a much nicer place than I thought. I might have seen the bad side of it before. I think it's actually really nice place to live.
The main problem is that it's so damn out of the way like it's so far away from everything that it's hard to even fathom getting all the way up here. There's no highways that really go here except for the interstate 990 which doesn't really go all the way and then it turns into Millersport which is kind of kind of kind of a highway and then it joins Transit and it's just kind of annoying.
Having said that I think it's a really cool place to live and I like the YMCA and there are some pretty decent food options and some pretty nice people up here as well. And they don't seem to be afflicted by the horrible weather to the same degree as other parts of the region are. So I have to give them a massive five star upgrade I think finally eventually now.
I've been to Lockport more times than I can count. My sort-of doctor is here, my fave Italian restaurant is here, 3 or 4 good friends live here, and I used to visit a garage here. I know the town pretty well. City, rather. It's a great City.
Seriously though it is named as such because of the locks. The Erie Canal dissects the heart of this charming little city which has everything from leafy estates to cozy trailer parks with Eminem lookalikes rap-battling in the bushes with little dogs named Jack.
Speaking of Jack, everyone loves One-Eyed Jacks. Let me just say, on record. I don't. Sorry. Instead, try Pulp 716 for Boba and the infamous sweet sauce slices of Pizza Oven for a snack.
What I do love is The Village Eatery. If not for that place, I might even give LP a 3, (although LPs were always better than singles, right?) but it's like, the best Italian American food everrrr. OK, it's comparably good along with Mulberry in Like-I-Wanna, but it's much more typical and wholesome and filling and would probably take my prize for best Italian American Food In USA. Yes. That good.
Parts of LP are really pretty, and even though it's way way way out of the way, it's really cute. Taking the 990 & Millersport up here is pretty fast. If you try and go up Transit, well in the words of the late, great James Caan, "forget about it, beefcake."
Oh and Lockport will soon be changing its name. It has become the heart of the gay male community in WNY, and 7-and-a-half percent of the population is now either gay, or male, or both. Oh wait I meant, is both. Experts say this will rise up very fast and impress everyone, growing to a massive, erect 69% by mid-2015.
And since these strapping young (and old) (and Middle Aged) (and so on) men often send pelfies to each other, it obviously will soon be known as "C**kport."