I am a large man. I say this without any degree of ego or subjectivity. Were you to measure me, you would find that maths says I am a large man. Survey a group of people, and I would be called a large man by the majority of them. If you placed me in a room with a group of men, I would be among the larger men there, due to my status as a large man. I have evidence. Science has corroborated my largeness, so I can safely say that I am actually a large man. Fact.
I mention this because should you ever wish to see a large man go "squeee!", throw his arms to the sky and go sprinting down the aisles of a store like a labrador puppy stuffed full of caffeine and speed, you only need to take me to Toys 'r' Us.
It calls to a part of me that has long been buried beneath bills and deadlines and outgoings and income. Namely, the part of me that made his parents buy him a Dragonzord toy, just so I could make the Mega-Dragonzord to fight against my Lord Zed figure. And also the part of me that likes leaving stuffed animal toys in compromising positions because I find it distressingly funny.
This Toys 'r' Us in particular has a fantastic range. With a massive, purpose built store, you're guaranteed to find whatever your little tyke/your husband/yourself desires. If you see a large man barrelling towards you, through you and passed you, pinwheeling off the shelves, don't forget to say hello. read more