Not great. Went to the Grooming Rooms for a massage today. I was very nervous about it, being my first time at this sort of thing, but assumed I'd be dealt with sensitively. Front desk are very helpful and waiting room is lovely. I arrived dead on time - 5.50 for a 6pm, one-hour appointment. First off, they take your credit card details over the phone, so I thought I had paid in advance, right? But after you're finished, you're asked to pay cash! Without any explanation at any point!
So I filled out a form in the waiting room that asked about my sleep patterns - suggesting an interest in the customers. I was greeted by the masseuse who was fairly friendly, at best. She asked me if I'd just finished work but that was where the small-talk ended. Indeed, I think her main interest was 'finishing work', too. I was escorted into a massage room and told to 'get myself ready', before she left the room! She did not ask me was this new to me, did I know what to do, or anything. Now I'm very shy in these situations but I thought that if I threw myself off the deep end by doing this thing, I'd be dealt with sensitively.
So I'm standing in this dimly lit, ship's cabin size room with just a sink, thinking to myself, "does get myself ready mean take all my clothes off?". I supposed it did. But I didn't really know. When she returned I still had my clothes on, but she just went away again. Still, zero engagement with me! I gathered up my stuff and told her I was leaving - I said maybe this was a bad idea and "there's clearly lots of things I'm supposed to know, but don't know", so I was off.
She might have told me there was a cover you can lie under once you've taken your clothes off, which might have helped my nerves. In the dimly lit room, all I could see was a massage table with some rugs on it. I did not know the drill.
Only at that point, did she manage to put me at my ease by saying that I could just take off my shirt and lie down under the cover - and that we could just do a back massage. She did NOT explain, at all, that this meant my time was now being halved to half an hour! All she was thinking was she could get to her next client quicker and get off home before 8pm!
She stepped outside again and I decided to take everything off apart from my underwear - my work trousers would only get ruined lying on my stomach anyway. She returned and saw I'd stripped down, so it was pretty obvious I was warming to the idea. This she chose to ignore. She focused on my back for a long time, before I said "you can do the rest of me as well". There was a LONG silence, before she said "I don't think we'll have time". Still, she failed to explain that I was now a 30-minute job, rather than the full hour I had booked. So I said, I'm sure we've got enough time? She still explained nothing. She reluctantly began massaging my legs for a short time (most painful bit) before telling me it was over. She left the room abruptly, telling me there was 'no rush' getting dressed to leave. Really?
Mind you, the massage itself was good and did make me feel relaxed, despite the pain. There was nice music playing too.
She saw me on my way up to the cash desk at reception. The girl there was very helpful - a totally different attitude to my masseuse. At this point I had no idea what the time was, but just felt the session had been quite quick. She asked me for €40 in cash. I said wait a minute, has the price gone down? (The one-hour I'd booked is €70). She explained I had just had the back massage and that was half an hour, €40. This had not been explained to me at all, I told her. I thought I was booked for an hour, said I. Indeed, the masseuse had it timed perfectly to half an hour - 35 minutes outside!
The girl on reception was really nice and said I could have 25% off next time with a different masseuse, so I left on good terms.
Frankly, I'm not sure if I'll return.
Only a couple of minutes after I left did I realise the conflict between them taking my credit card details on the phone, and taking cash from me in person. I had to go back to ask them to explain this, and only THEN did they explain that credit card details are taken in case you don't turn up, then these are shredded once you pay them cash. But they kinda need to explain that, right?
I told them that they have a problem with handling first-time customers - zero communication. So much for winding down from the stresses of work on a Thursday evening!
Also, I found the experience quite painful. I'm not massively muscular and I feel that being completely new to this, the masseuse should have gone easier on me. But she wasn't interested in me as an individual, even on a basic level. I was just treated like some bloke who did this all the time. And I thought every customer was different. I tried to communicate with her, by telling her "this is the equivalent of me jumping off a cliff". Still, that had little effect. read more