Avoid like the plague. The best thing about this place is the food, which is terminally average. The decor is dismal, the service is mediocre, and whatever charm it may have had in the 1980s has long since vanished.
We visited because we'd seen a nice-looking ad in a "Visit the New Forest"-type brochure. But we were deeply disappointed. The decor is gloomy, and the massive teddy bear in the window was probably cute when originally bought but is now just a bit mangy. There's a weird system of attracting the attention of waiting staff by hanging a small wooden teddy on a pole on your table - an explanatory note on the door gives instructions, but there's no real reason for it and if anything it makes the staff less attentive. They don't make eye contact with customers easily.
We had some sympathy for them though - they are dolled up in an almost 'Allo 'Allo-style get-up with silly headdresses and aprons. Some explanation may be found in the personality of the manager, who at one point burst out of the kitchen, patronised a teenage boy who had come through to ask whether his family's ice creams were on the way, and didn't wait for an answer to his question "is anybody waiting?" (which we were). He seemed more interested in talking loudly and ignorantly about hospitality than actually doing any, and certainly didn't create a good impression for customers or role model for his staff.
When our order arrived, we were still unimpressed. A banana milkshake was mainly warm froth; the cafe latte was metallic and tasted suspiciously like Kenco; the treacle tart was doughy and unappealing and the carrot cake appeared to have had a bite taken out of it before it got to us. So much for an afternoon tea.
Anyway, the details are mostly by-the-by. The upshot is that Brockenhurst is a beautiful little town, so don't ruin it with a visit to this shabby, poorly-run, unimaginative and slightly creepy little disappointment. read more
