Hey, Dymond! "Eiam" expressed a few of his reservations about you to me- allow me to [further] aid in you and Edwin getting to the bottom of his list of concerns. Below are the myriad of topics where clarity needs to be provided:
1. Your promiscuity: the short of it, Edwin believes you to be a desperate delusional whore. while all signs show he may very well be accurate, perhaps you should give him greater insight on why you feel you have absolutely nothing else to offer besides your vagina. We sympathize with your past, the scars they've caused, and the internal demons you deal with daily ...however, you have to be more intentional with your healing. You can't fuck your insecurities away, sis. It only lowers your self-worth.
2. Your dishonesty: simply put, either be comfortable with the truths you've created or, at least, be bold enough to acknowledge the lies you pacify yourself with ...he'd have a lot more respect for you if you choose one of the aforementioned options.
3. You parenting skills: you can't possibly believe you're capable of being a good mother to Malachi if you're not even capable of being good to yourself. choose to be a woman your son can be proud of and use as a blueprint for his future relationships. otherwise, your son will bring home a woman just like his mother ...which would be disappointing to say the least. we understand you have your own internal struggles you're coping through, but a child's love is often times healing ...embrace that.
4. The abortion: it doesn't take personally knowing you to look at you and tell you've experienced a world of neglect, disrespect, and abandonment by men (you have a very jaded aura), so I understand how and why you detach- it's a defense mechanism. This is all Edwin needs to hear from you. He takes a minute to "get it" (especially if he feels like you should feel how HE feels about a situation) but, with calm communication, he'll eventually open his perspective.
5. Your faux sense of ambition: being the help is not a flex. it's one thing to be booked because you're actually talented and it's another thing to be booked because you're the cheapest option (this is the category you fall under, cheap). however, your consistency is on point (and we all know consistency is KEY)! Edwin wants to see you take your craft (and yourself) seriously- create real goals for yourself, stop cutting yourself short and creating excuses to justify it. start asking yourself those challenging uncomfortable questions and become more comfortable with the person you see in the mirror: we understand you may not, currently, be impressed by her but don't allow that imposter (the version of yourself created by negative life experiences) scare Dymond (the amazing person who you innately are) off.
Edwin has his own growing to do (and he's learning, slowly but surely). But, if you two can UNANIMOUSLY (that means 'together, in unison, on one accord) decide to BE and not just "seem" ...you'll both live happily ever after. I hope this helps read more