This post is in reference to how mishandled I felt my uncle's funeral service was.
First and foremost, I inquired at St. Joseph parish office to reserve a priest for my uncle's funeral because they're the only church I know who has a Filipino priest, my fiancés family are parishioners here, and I trust them with things (such as my child's catholic education).
From the very beginning, I felt as though I wasn't being listened to or heard by the parish office woman whom I had been in contact with throughout the entire process. The original Priests were not available for my uncle's funeral service due to being off island, however, the parish office woman (whose name I'll so kindly leave off of here even though I felt my family was blatantly disrespected) was persistent in stating she knows of several Filipino priests she "may be able to" reserve. And from the start, I trusted her to assist me through the process of reserving a priest from the parish as funeral planning is very new to me and being a Catholic Church in which I've heard services many funerals/baptisms/weddings/etc. I assumed that they would listen and know what and how to do things.
From the very start/very moment I had made my initial inquiry, I had made sure that I knew the time frame of the funeral service. Because I didn't want to inquire without knowing the details. I had informed the parish office woman of the time frame of our service at the funeral venue MULTIPLE TIMES. I had given her a specific time that we needed the priest there to begin the service. However, she was not listening to the time I was providing her.
Instead, she undermined the time I had given her multiple times leading up to the day of the event. Even the EARLY morning of, she contacted me and I read her the time frame from my uncle's funeral program (as laid out on his funeral program provided by the funeral venue). The parish office woman undermined my time frame and went to search the obituary which stated that the time of burial (which was at the tail end of our service where we would need to be finished and out of the venue). Even after calling back and forth multiple times to confirm the time, she went based off of what was stated on the ONLINE obituary and not what was planned, written out, and explained multiple times leading up to the day, up to the very morning of. I was told by the parish office lady that "because the time of burial says 1:00 pm she will have the priest there by 12:15 pm to do the service -- because they do not want the priests waiting around for 2 hours until the burial." When I specifically told her that we begin the funeral service at 11:00 am and burial was set for 11:30 am.
When time got near, I had asked her for an estimated time the priest would arrive. She had informed me that the priests had left several minutes ago and should be arriving shortly. As the time it takes to get to the site should not have been long. I was waiting outside the chapel and had saw the priests car arrive from the top of the burial site (meaning that the priest and driver had been at the site for a while WAITING until THEIR time frame). What a shame. That we started the funeral service a whole hour late where family and friends had already began to leave. And lunch had to be served outside at my uncles grave instead of at the initial site due to time running out.
I felt that my family's funeral service was very unprofessional and very mishandled. The "substituting" priest was from the Big Island and was blatantly rude during the service calling out the time he was told to be here by during his homily. The homily wasn't the most thoughtful and meaningful homily presented. It made zero sense and did not connect with those that are grieving and looking for insight and guidance. Instead it felt like an attack on the grieving family. Which is such a shame coming from a Catholic priest.
Mind you we had given our generous "donation" the week leading prior to my uncles funeral. While I don't want to go on another tangent and rant about my thoughts on donations and money. I felt that the entire thing was Poorly mishandled. I felt shame and anger throughout the entire day on behalf of myself for trusting this parish to assist me through a grieving time. I will no longer reference this parish to any families seeking services or looking for a parish to visit/attend. Very upsetting. read more