I will say I was incredibly nervous about trying therapy. It is a deeply personal thing that we don't typically talk about with others and caries with a lot of emotional baggage guilt shame etc.. Quite a few times before the first session I contemplated canceling, but I am so glad I made that call. I will say Shelby made all of those fears and concerns melt away . Shelby is a person who's skills make them a perfect match for their occupation. She has a foundation of empathy, insight and kindness that instantly puts you at ease. I have no sense of judgement only encouragement and acceptance when talking about deeply personal things. Shelby is also incredibly insightful, digging through very complicated histories individually and as a couple she was get a clear understanding of dynamics and behavior patterns that were invisible to us but became obvious when she shed light on them. And finally she brought us change and hope for years we have been in a rut both missing the mark with each other but Shelby has helped us work on ourselves to solidify the foundation of intimacy trust and partnership that is required for a fulfilling relationship. TLDR Shelby is a fundementally kind, patient, open minded and understanding person who will help you and your partner get your MOJO back! read more

Shelby is an incredibly thoughtful and experienced professional with many skills and integrated approach to individual and couples. She listens intently and provides clear and helpful feedback and truly cares about all who are involved. I would definitely recommend her especially if there is anything you're experiencing or struggling with in your sex life or with intimacy that would benefit from an outside perspective or from someone who knows and supports many ways of living by yourself and others. I have greatly loved and appreciated her involvement and support for myself personally coming out of a relationship, being single, and getting in a new relationship with my partner while also coming into acceptance with who I am both sexually and my gender presentation fluidity. I don't know if many other people in the field that have experience with or can be understanding of and support me across that many aspects, so hopefully this helps anyone making their decision. read more

Shelby is the rare person who is doing exactly the work they were meant to do, and for that reason alone it's worth seeing her. Are you nervous? We were. It's ok. That means you're close to learning and changing! Shelby helped us to unstick some dynamics in our relationship that had been stuck for a decade -- and that was just the first session! We are now the very unusual couple whose relationship is better now than it was before we had a baby. This was, hands down, the best money I've ever spent. read more

Shelby is absolutely incredible, and we feel lucky we found her! My partner and I went to Shelby to learn more about increasing intimacy and connection that will last. We had no idea what to expect going into our first session and were nervous about what it would be like. I am SO glad we overcame our nerves and scheduled a session, because Shelby has had such a positive impact on our relationship and each of us individually. She brings immense knowledge and value to each session, so we have continued to meet with her far longer than we initially expected! She put us at ease immediately, and is incredibly skilled, thoughtful, and observant. Working with Shelby, we have seen our romantic connection, communication, and chemistry blossom even further. Plus, we just had so much fun in every single session. If you are considering sex and intimacy coaching, but are on the fence, all I can say is GO SEE SHELBY! You will not regret it. read more

I cannot recommend Shelby enough. She creates space for sharing and emotional repair without ever losing her sense of humor. She is a very special therapist, really building trust with her patients and meeting them exactly where they are. read more

Shelby combines theoretical knowledge with insight and compassion. She has helped me more than I can express easily in words. Her rates are certainly high, but after one session you will understand why. If you are seeking someone to help with sex- or intimacy-related issues, I would not recommend anyone else. read more

Shelby is the best! She helped my husband and I both together and individually be calmer, happier, more connected people. Shelby invites reflection, has really great questions, and makes you feel comfortable in each session. Through our work with Shelby we feel like we each understand ourselves better and have deepened our intimacy and communication. read more

Shelby is truly amazing and a gifted therapist. She provides a safe, welcoming space where you can explore and feel seen and heard. Plus learn tools to help you navigate whatever you are working through. I felt fully supported on my journey. I would highly recommend Shelby! read more

Finding a kink-aware therapist who understood the challenges I faced in my relationships and had the experience and tools to address is difficult, even in a city like San Francisco. Shelby's approach of building trust, learning about the past, and getting to better understand myself, has helped me to be a better partner, communicate my needs, and normalize the shame we sometimes can develop about ourselves. Over the length of engagements we worked to address these issues piece by piece. Like any personal development, changed didn't happen over night, but as I was able to start understanding myself and needs, I've seen real change occur in my life. This change often requires uncomfortable life changes, which Shelby doesn't sugercoat, but like a good therapist, let me come to the conclusion that something needed to move in my life. I would not be where I am today in my personal life with my current state of relationships had it not been for her support and tools that she was able to provide. If you are scared, unsure, or don't think change is possible, I highly encourage you to test those assumptions and see if there tools might be able to help make the changes you want (or may not even know you want yet). read more

Shelby has a remarkable ability to connect with me and suggest subtle changes to how I perceive issues troubling me - her energy and insights make for an exquisite combination. In addition, she is knowledgeable and playful, I have never been disappointed when working with her. I recommend her highly; you would do well to work with Shelby, whatever personal issues you are struggling with, or even if all you need is a warm and non-judgmental person to listen to you. read more

I love Shelby! I had a lot of therapist in my life time and Shelby is the only one I really like. She is open minded, understanding, funny,knowledgeable and gives great advice! I feel really safe with her and she has helped me grow and help my relationships tremendously. She is great! read more

Shelby is a compassionate, wise, and resourceful therapist and I feel so grateful to have had the opportunity to work with her. Her skillful and deeply empathic approach allowed me to overcome shame, build emotional resilience, and dramatically increase my self-confidence both in and out of the bedroom. Working with Shelby has given me a huge head start down the path towards becoming my best self. read more

So this is long overdue. Essentially, Shelby is one of the most compassionate, warm, and truly wonderful therapists I've had the opportunity to work with. That being said, she's also the only one to make me cry- and not like normal-grown-up-man tears- we're talking about blubbering-gross-drooling-leaky-faced tears. I would probably feel embarrassed by that, but Shelby has gotten me to a place- possibly for the first time in my life- where I feel its ok to be vulnerable. Granted, I can't say this will be the experience everyone will have. We all have different needs when it comes to counseling and therapy. However, what I can say is that Shelby really understands me- which has never happened for me in therapy. She's helped me to confront and understand my emotional baggage as well as my current needs. Historically, I would either avoid it or by bury it under medications- Worth noting, I do also see a Psychiatrist, and I do at times use medications for anxiety and ADHD- but I consider my work with Shelby to be wholly separate from that. So that's been my one on one experience- but Initially (as well as currently) I usually see Shelby with my wife. Sometime in our fourth year of marriage, we noticed our overall intimacy had dropped off. In hindsight, I suppose my wife and I were so aware of each others sensitivities, we stopped addressing things that really needed to be addressed. After some research, we sought Shelby's help to partner with us and show us more-sustainable long-term strategies (Spoilers: bottling things up doesn't work forever... or, you know, at all.) In this way, Shelby has been life changing. She's helped us recognize and articulate our verbal and non-verbal cues, as well as to understand and vocalize our individual needs in a constructive and helpful way. Although our work with Shelby is ongoing, I can safely say my wife and I are connecting better, more honest, and amazing ways than ever before. My advice to you is this- If you need one on one counseling- see Shelby. If you need counseling and strategies with your wife, husband, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, cactus, or... whatever really- see Shelby. In summary: Shelby = Yes. read more

I'm working with Shelby and I'd recommend her 10 out of 10 for anyone looking for any sexual/intimacy coaching. I was quite nervous to go to a sex therapist but it's been well worth it. She has pushed me to re-tune my mind and body and while it's still a work in progress, deciding to work with Shelby has been the best decision of my 2018 year. Btw, unsure what happened to her previous reviews but last time I checked, there were many 5-star reviews. Just google her! read more

Shelby came into my life at a time where I most needed it. Her therapeutic approach was individualized to my challenges and needs - and she was always able to bring into focus the key issues I was facing, with a keen sense of helping me navigate solving them. I often stepped into sessions where Shelby had done additional research and had taken out time from our sessions to add new information and perspective that really helped me take the right steps forward into healing my life. To top it off - Shelby's energy is completely one of a kind. Her ability to be in tune with me really helped create a comfortable environment to open up in. What I really appreciated was her ability to drive the discussions deeper where it mattered - and her ability to steer me through. She has been a driving force for me to improve in an area I wasn't previously able to address myself - and it is because of her that I approach my life with a new found sense of confidence, presence, sensuality and awareness that otherwise would have gone undiscovered. read more

I had a transformative experience in my sessions with Shelby. My partner and I went together and separately, and our communication and self-awareness improved in leaps and bounds--not to mention our sex lives. Our relationship and overall happiness is stronger than ever, and I'm grateful for the part Shelby played over the past few years. read more

Shelby is the rare combination of an astute listener and an insightful communicator. She brings these skills to bear in her work and has helped my partner and I develop frameworks to improve our communication. Her approached helped me to realize things that were never apparent in my years of traditional therapy. Working with her has made a tremendous impact on my life and in my relationship. read more

Shelby is helping me tremendously - with regard to sexuality, and also with personal growth more broadly. She has guided and supported my exploration of my needs, fears, and sense of self, and she has helped boost my confidence, while providing a safe space for me to feel and express my nervousness and insecurities. From our first session, she has been completely authentic, present, and earnest. She offers feedback gently and supportively; she takes feedback without any defensiveness and is very responsive to what I need in a given moment. She brings great and real energy to our sessions, and she's given me many specific ideas and general approaches that have helped me feel more skilled, more confident, and sexier. Thank you, Shelby! read more

Shelby is simply amazing. Her coaching approach, supported by the Somatica training, is a breath of fresh air compared to the traditional sex therapy, often keen to resolve the issues with your mother rather than focusing on what blocks sexuality individually or between a couple. We have tried working with couple and sex therapist before and often came out of the meeting drained, lost and even more divided. Shelby was very different from the first meeting: very intuitive, super understanding and focused on creating the environment and the skills we needed to connect sexually. Our work together is not done yet, but the improvement is noticeable. Speaking and practicing with Shelby feels natural, safe and encouraging, rather feel ashamed or over diagnosed. read more

honestly I don't know what I would have done without Shelby. She enabled me to get out of the hole I dug for myself and rise to a place of a satisfying and rich relationship with my partner that I had never had before. Being stagnant in a relationship is easy. But being nervous to see a sex therapist, having that nervous energy focused on developing a more intense and sexually satisfying relationship, and being carefully guided by Shelby during this process, was not as difficult as I thought it might be. read more

I worked with Shelby and my partner on strategies for resolving conflict in our relationship. The experience was fantastic. A few things really stuck out to me: - Shelby has a tremendous ability to pick up on the emotions you are feeling and can really help you diagnose them and get to the core of what's causing them (vs. the immediate source of conflict that is causing the emotion) - She is an excellent communicator and is great at breaking down the theories and fundamentals of her practice. This translation makes everything easier to digest and makes the concepts actually sink-in - Shelby a great mediator - she knows when to let someone speak and knows when to push back a bit or get someone to reframe. She doesn't pick sides, by any means, but rather focuses on emotional and intellectual honesty, which helps move past the "I'm right" mentality - We walked away with a mini-guide for how to deal with conflict on a go-forward basis. I can't say that we always stick to it, but A) when we do, things generally work out much better, and B) when we don't, we still try to incorporate some of the principles, which really helps The therapy Shelby provides here is really valuable. If you take your relationship seriously, there's certainly something you can gain from Shelby. read more

Shelby is seriously amazing. My partner and I went to see her on a friend's recommendation and have been blown away by our experience with her. She has met me on every level I've been on and helped me to feel supported, heard, and seen throughout. Each session feels both like it builds on the last and takes me to a completely new place. She has a way of showing me things I didn't know I was looking for. For sexuality, communicating, and relational issues, Shelby is where it's at. read more