When I first moved to Allentown, Pa., I had high hopes. Since I was a teenager, many decades ago, I've had a serious love affair with Chinese American food and the restaurants that serve it. Indeed, I'm not alone as I've found tasty, high quality Chinese-American foods offered in such diverse places as Mattapoisett, Mass., New Bedford and Boston, Mass., New York City, San Francisco and a number of other places in between.
Four years ago, I moved from New Jersey, which had several such restaurants with tasty, even delicious offerings, to Allentown, PA. Sadly, after four years of staggering around like a blind man in the dark, I've eaten at numerous Chinese American restaurants and have yet to find a single one that I considers to serve truly palatable food - not award-winning, merely palatable and tasty.
When I opened my apartment door in response to a knock, I was greeted by an angry Oriental man who's greeting consisted of a shouted: "Outside not work."
I responded with: What?
Again I was told: "Outside not work."
I assume he was referring to my apartment complex's security system in which visitors key in the code for my name and I then buzz them through the security door.
At that point I decided to bypass the language barrier and asked for the amount I owed. He replied that it was $21.03. I gave him $25 and he left.
As this was the third time I'd had food from this particular spot, I was expecting a decent meal. I was SO wrong.
I'd ordered two different meals. First, I tried the SubGum Wonton With Vegetables. The menu description said it contained chicken, roast pork, jumbo shrimp and lobster meat with mixed vegetables in brown sauce with w. fried wonton. Perhaps it did. The various meats appeared to have been cooked to the point of being tough, in my opinion. I did try a chewy, rubbery, funky but tasteless mass that, I suppose, might have been a piece of lobster meat eons ago. The roast pork was about as thick as a piece of shirt cardboard from a laundry, with a similar consistency and flavor. The "fried wonton" was inedible - literally. It was so overcooked and dried out that I was unable to cleanly cut it even with a serrated steak knife. Like the rest of my plate. It was all scraped into the delivery bag and slated for the garbage chute.
Since I'd swallowed little actual food, I went on the second dish I'd ordered. It's my habit to often order more than one item. It's my bachelor training. Much easier to have leftovers that to make food decisions each day (smile).
Then I started my second misadventure. To me, Boneless Spare Ribs mean large hunks of succulent tender rib meat. Instead, I was confronted with skinny strips of dried meat that might have passed as jerky from some other food source. None were longer than two inches and most resembled the bits of dried out pork included n pork fried rice. Then, there was the fried rice, itself. I've eaten fried rice in many parts of the U.S. and also in European restaurants. It's always been a tan/brown color that's been sautéed with other seasonings and bits of carrot, onion or peas. At this point, I must explain that I know New Orleans cuisine also features something called "dirty rice." To me, it's a most unappealing name for what could be a tasty New Orleans specialty.
My boneless spareribs (they were truly boneless. I was unable to find any bones, but the meat itself was tough as a rib bone, in my opinion) contained the Sakura Teriyaki version of "dirty rice." I call it that because it neither looked nor tasted like fried rice. It was gray. Trust me when I say that's a compliment. I am unable to come up with another adjective to describe its taste - there wasn't any.
Considering Monday is, historically, the slowest night of the week for ALL restaurants and I ordered well BEFORE rush hour, the quality should have been their best possible.
This may be the last review I do on Chinese-American cuisine in Allentown and soon may become the last review I do on ANY reasonably priced restaurant in the Western Lehigh Valley. Food in New England can be delightful. Food in New York City can be orgasmically tasty and food in some parts of New Jersey can be quite enjoyable. However, once you cross the Delaware River (as the old saying goes: You pays your money and you takes your chances) restaurant food becomes progressively worse until you hit Chicago.
Now I'm going to cleanup ,my kitchen. The mostly uneaten dishes I described won't be taking valuable space in my refrigerator. Nor will I be offering them to neighbors on my floor. They'll be going to the reward they justly deserve: Into the garbage bag and own the chute to the dumpster.
When I die, if I go to heaven, I hope St. Peter has a good Chinese takeout restaurant located inside the pearly gates. read more
