I happened to be in Portal, North Dakota on business (don't ask). Anyway I asked our guests, by any slim chance is there anywhere to eat around here? I was shocked when three people in unison said "Smokey Bonz!" This place is on the "main street" -- if you can call it that -- of Portal...about a 5 minute walk or 30 second drive from the US-Canada border. We pulled up about 11:30am and when we got our first look at the front facade, we were initially hesitant. It looks like the type of biker bar you may see in a Hollywood action film. To call it a dive bar would be an understatement. But as our options were limited, we walked in and were immediately greeted by a friendly young woman and two locals. As time passed, more locals came in and we got to chatting. It turned out many of the locals lived on the Canadian side of the border but walked here for lunch as it was closer for them than any restaurant in Canada! I glanced the menu and my first eye opening, jaw dropping shock was the prices. They were LOW compared to both US and Canadian standards. $2.50 beers?! $5 burgers? What alternative universe is this?! My eyes scanned the menu and I was so elated to see in big letters: Philly Cheesesteak. Now, anyone who has lived or visited Philadelphia AND Canada knows that Canada can't make a Cheesesteak to save their lives. Sorry Canada, but Philly Cheesesteaks don't come on baguettes, bagels, rolls, served with huge slabs of thick meat or other strange concoctions I've had the misfortune of eating in the Great White North. This was the real deal: thin slices of beef-like product with onions, green peppers, mushrooms and gooey provolone cheese (sorry, Philly but Cheese Wiz sucks). It tastes of...AMERICA! Ok so anyway back to the bar. Smokey Bonz (which apparently is also called the Outback Saloon and Cafe) is divided into two parts: the cafe restaurant, and the dive bar separated by a long wall with openings. The decor is Garage Sale Chic, very dark and mysterious like a good dive bar. The bathrooms are clean but sparse, with some 1980s circa girly poster in the men's room. I would love to see what this place looks like on a Friday or Saturday night! read more