When all of my mom friends urged us to work with a doula for the pregnancy and birth of our first baby, I could never have imagined the support -- technical and emotional -- that we would find with Megan and Marlee. I ended up having quite a difficult labor experience, finding out upon being admitted to the hospital that, in addition to begin a week overdue, having had 12 hours of painful prodromal labor 2 days before, and the baby's head pushing against my spine, that I also had the flu. The extra pain produced by the fever, back labor and high doses of pitocin became unbearable and I am not sure we could have made it through without Marlee's incredible coaching. The physical pianof that portion of the labor however, was nothing at all in comparison with the emotional anguish of being told that, because I was still feverish, I would have to be separated from my baby for an undetermined amount of time after birth. This separation was accompanied by a utter lack of compassion and incompetency by the hospital mother-baby unit staff. Again, if were not for Marlee's beautiful emotional support and advocacy for me, my husband, and my baby, the separation would have been that much more painful and most likely more prolonged. Her support was so unconditional that shortly after going home after my long birth, she turned around and came right back (it was here birthday by the way) to teach me how to manually express colostrum to get to my newborn and help us advocate to nurses simply were going to give him formula without my permission (and who continued to commit a cacophony of errors about which I would have to write an essay-length piece to get into the details).
As any first time parents knows there is nothing more frightening than those first few days out of the hospital (and I imagine far beyond that, but we haven't gotten there yet), when you return home to suddenly find yourself responsible for a delicate human life. Marlee and Megan have been uncompromising in their willingness to answer all our questions, big and small, at all hours of the day -- about everything from breastfeeding to safe sleeping to postpartum depression. At our first postnatal visit Marlee spent two hours with us going over the details of various breastfeeding techniques, car seat safety, and so much more. We created a WhatsApp group with me, my husband, Marlee, and Megan through which they have made themselves available day and night to answer all our questions with zero judgment, only evidence-based answers, and a degree of patience and compassion to which I can only aspire. They keep telling me to not apologize for bombarding them with question after question, but I keep doing it because I can't find a sufficient way to show to them just how grateful I am that they have become part of this equal parts terrifying and beautiful experience. The comfort their support has afforded us in these anxiety-ridden days is simply invaluable.
My husband and I are both PhD students and make very little money. Honestly, working with a doula was an expense that was somewhat out of our budget but we went forward with it because of the insistence of my friends with children. We interviewed several doulas, but the second Marlee and Megan left our house after our introductory meeting my husband and I didn't even have to say a word to communicate to each other that we knew they were the ones. We sent them an email the following day, and did what we could to cut our baby budget elsewhere and we were no worse the wear. We will never regret passing over the $800 stroller for a second-hand one, but we would have deeply regretted not having Megan and Marlee in our lives. Working with them has simply been the best thing we could have done for ourselves and our baby, and in a time of such insecurity and doubt it is one decision of which we are entirely sure. We will forever be grateful to Megan and Marlee for making the birth of our son the most wonderful experience of our lives. read more