1 Star -- Law & Order: Special Towing Unit…read more
Was your car towed under less-than-ideal circumstances? Are you already having a really shitty day? Want to make it exponentially worse? Well, have I got the place for you!
Welcome to T&J Towing, where customer service is apparently a personal insult and asking for an explanation of your bill is treated like an attempted coup.
Need to retrieve a vehicle belonging to someone under your legal conservatorship? PERFECT! You'll have the privilege of arguing with a woman who appears to have watched one episode of Law & Order and decided that was sufficient preparation for Virginia conservatorship law. Court-issued documentation? Not good enough! She wants a power of attorney! Never mind that a conservatorship is a different legal arrangement. Why let the actual paperwork complicate a confident misunderstanding?
Have questions about the charges? Fantastic! You'll receive a master class in being interrupted, talked over, and treated like an idiot for asking what you're paying for--a bold strategy for a business whose entire revenue model depends on customers understanding the bill.
And if you're REALLY lucky, the situation escalates to the point where she locks herself inside the office, refuses to accept your payment or release the vehicle, and calls the police. All because you wanted someone to explain a bill and make the math math. Spoiler: the math remained undefeated.
But WAIT! There's more!
At seemingly random intervals, she'll announce, "Here's your cease and desist!" as though she's just delivered a devastating courtroom verdict. What am I supposed to cease? What am I supposed to desist? Unclear. But she said it with enough confidence that I assume dramatic courtroom music was supposed to start playing.
And just when you think the performance is over, it's time for the credit card portion of our adventure!
Apparently, a four-digit CVV was the final boss in this particular episode. When she couldn't figure out the card information, she announced that our card had been declined. When we explained the four-digit security code, suddenly the problem was that it was difficult for her to see--and our attempt to clarify was somehow discrimination. A remarkable amount of legal and financial drama for four numbers.
So, to recap: I came to retrieve a vehicle, and somehow ended up accused of discrimination, threatened with imaginary legal consequences, and waiting for the police. All while trying to GIVE THIS BUSINESS MONEY.
Meanwhile, the actual owner of the business provided some lovely background commentary, including muttering "stupid b*tch" under his breath. Five-star hospitality, folks. Apparently, the customer-service training covered volume control but not professionalism.
The best part? Every additional day without the vehicle means more storage fees, so you're financially incentivized to shut up, hand over your credit card, and accept whatever amount you're told to pay. Nothing says "transparent billing" like a deadline that gets more expensive while questions remain unanswered.
I ultimately paid because of my fiduciary obligation to get my mother's vehicle back, not because I agreed with the charges. I explicitly stated that at the time, although I'm not sure she heard me over the sound of her own voice.
If you're looking for professionalism, transparency, or basic human decency, I strongly recommend looking elsewhere.
If you're looking to have your already terrible week transformed into an unsolicited crossover episode of Law & Order, Judge Judy, and Jerry Springer: Impound Lot Edition, T&J Towing has you covered--and may even call you slurs while you wait.
Prediction: The owner will respond with unsubstantiated legal threats, a hilarious version of "what happened," and assurances that they have "cameras and recordings to prove it." Oh, I'm sure. Hopefully the footage includes the part where the bill gets explained.
