"If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it,
Check out the…read morehook while my DJ revolves it
Ice Ice baby" ~Ancient wisdom of Maester Vanilla Ice
A spell of good luck placed us muggles in the path of the Oslo Magic Ice Bar one scorching afternoon, as we were melting from the heat faster than a wicked witch. We asked the doorman if the bar was open, but all he said was, "Hodor."
"Charmed, I'm sure," I replied.
After that enchanting exchange, we opened the door and PRESTO, we managed to walk in all on our own. There were few other humans or White Walkers inside, though that was no problem. We came for the party, but we brought the fun. SIM SALA BIM!
We each paid the $25 entrance fee, which could not be waived with a wand, but at least it included one free drink token. Our instructions were then handed to us in envelopes hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar since noon that day. "Sign your life away in vanishing ink and off you go," they stated.
There was no fine print regarding vows to defend the wall, but we "took the black" anyway in the form of warm, medieval cloaks. We then conjured up some gloves, popped some chill pills, and transported ourselves via portkey into the frozen tomb.
All about priorities, we bellied up to the bar and ordered, "A LA PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES!" POOF! Krekling Arctic Crowberry Frost materialized, served in glasses made of ice. The drink was pretty, super sweet, and Lady Olenna approved (poison stones cost extra).
As our drinks slipped about on the icy tables, some guy named Jon passed by, mumbled something about winter coming, and then walked off. "You know nothing, Jon Snow," we soberly answered back.
Feeling refreshed, we checked out the mesmerizing ice art around the room. The sculptures were all delightfully silly to take selfies with and helped to break the ice with strangers. Some of the art was interactive, leaving spaces in which to stick in your face, with or without a frozen expressions.
We particularly enjoyed the ice Scream sculptures, which were cheeky nods to Munch and Dairy Queen. But the Pièce de résistance was the majestic ice throne in the center of the bar, sans icy Lannisters. Madonna's "Vogue" was playing at one point, so we played a little Game of Pose to decide who would win the coveted crowning.
We spent less than an hour in the bar and decided in our mystical and borderline divine way that we needed to leave once we lost feeling in our faces and sandal-clad feet. Overall this was a fun experience, but once was enough hocus pocus for me.
"Just when I think I'm gonna get away,
I hear those words that you always say
Abra-abra-cadabra, I want to reach out and grab ya!"
(Steve Miller Band)