There's a fine line between retro and wrecked; Ran Ham is squarely on the wrong side of this divide. Their facilities are not maintained and the space is claustrophobic and dank. The bowling is absolutely horrendous by any standard, and their antique ball return sent a young woman to the hospital on my last visit.
The ball returns at Ran Ham are open, so you can see the ball shooting back towards the queue after you roll a frame. The ball goes up and over a ramp to slow it down right before it comes home. This typically works, but sometimes it doesn't. One Friday evening last winter I saw a young woman get her fingers smashed to bloody pulp between two bowling balls due to this antiquated system.
Here's what happened: The ball return didn't shoot the ball out fast enough to make it up the ramp, so it started rolling back down the hill. The woman wasn't sure what to do, so she awkwardly bent over and tried pushing the ball up the hill by hand. Meanwhile, another ball came screaming out of the ball return, and her fingers got crushed between the two. I still remember the horrible chunky "WUNK!" sound of her poor fingers getting smashed. Her friends ran to her side, and all they could do was wrap napkins around her hand and debate whether to call 911 or just drive straight to the hospital. Meanwhile her hand is dripping blood everywhere, and it wasn't long before staff were out there wiping it up. My guess is that this wasn't the first time its happened.
I know, accidents are unavoidable. But accidents are way more prone to happen when you have old and dangerous equipment, and when there's no cautionary signage to help avoid such a thing. Also, the bowling service was super slow, and problems were happening all the time. It was taking 5-10 minutes to get someone out every time the pins wouldn't be set up right, the ball wouldn't return, etc. so this woman perhaps thought "well, no one is going to help us, so we have to help ourselves."
This gruesome spectacle aside the bowling was awful. The lanes are all warped and the balls are more pocked than Morgan Freeman's face. It really isn't bowling at this point, but chucking a sorta-ball down a kinda lane to maybe hit some pins near where you were aiming. It's also cramped down there, hot and smelly. If you've got even a little crowd anxiety or claustrophobia you're going to come out with a mild case of PTSD from being jammed in like sardines. This is further confounded if you try to eat food down there, as you almost literally can't get a bite up to your face without having to squeeze aside for someone or getting your elbows knocked. More, try to bring a kid down here and you're in for a truly hellish evening, as another reviewer has noted.
The service also leaves much to be desired. The staff are friendly, but they're the band playing as the ship goes down. If there's anything you want, from ordering food to getting your lane serviced, you have to crowd around this tiny window and compete with the hot press of bodies for the chance to get someone's attention. If you're lucky enough to get noticed, you'll be helped in 5-10 minutes. No one out on the floor will ask if you need anything, the staff just zip from task to task and try to avoid eye contact or pretend not to hear you so they won't have more stuff to do. I don't blame them, they seem overworked without the tools or proper facility to do what they need to do.
The second star goes to the food, which is very good, otherwise a solid "avoid at all costs" kind of a place. The "charm" here is much overstated, and best reserved for 20 somethings with a fetish for disaster. read more