This review forms part of the Legendary Mini-Break of the Sisterhood....aka Angie And Fiona Do Yorkshire....aka The 'Win'kend.
Having strutted my leggy, longhaired sibling around Sky Lounge on Thursday like a prize show pony, I decided to stick her hungover ass in the back of the car and whisk her to the secret waterfall in the Dales that I can't tell you about because then it wont be my secret any more (you're not squeezing THIS one out of me Yelp!!).
I skinnydipped Fiona's delicate Southern backside in freezingly fresh water, stuffed a buttery picnic into her and sat her in a local pub for some wincingly bad white wine and then I left her in the capable hands of a man date to Chaophraya. The 'Win'kend was exceeding all expectations.
Then on Saturday I washed her, dressed her, brushed her pretty teeth, hung some Best in Show rosettes in her glossy mane and flung her into the heart of York to buy Cath Kidston dresses and overpriced picture frames. It was during this extended bonding session that we stumbled upon, and thus into, Oscar's.
May I start by miming the rubbing of hands over walls and saying that thing I often say, much to the bemusement of most of my friends, "Lovely wallpaper!!". You just can't have enough tropical birds on big red flowers. I'm not being sarcastic. I genuinely have a remote sex button that gets pressed by the sight of interesting wallpaper...which I then sit by and bang on about ad infinitum, ad nauseum, all the time stroking said paper like a 100% proper sausage of a human being.
Oscar's has wallpaper for the win.
It also has a nice range of ales, wines and fruit beers....a strawberry fruli later and I was ready to mezze things up a notch. We plumped for mixed olives and a mediterranean platter which, at £4 and £8 respectively provided ample piles of slippery olives, rich taramasalata, thick hummus, cool tzatsiki, salad and warm flatbread for three of us. There's olive oil and balsamic vinegar on the tables to extend the bread life into some proper dipping. It was fresh, flavoursome and tasty. We even got more bread to finish off the dips, that's how dipalicious it was.
So why only 3 stars? Lovely looking bar. Clean and well stocked with interesting and wide choices of drinks and food. Utterly FAB-U-LOUS wallpaper. Pleasant toilets....I could go on. But there's the one thing isn't there that just scoots you down the ratings faster than a wet rat in a slimy pipe.
Customer service.
Yes the staff were all achingly polite. Most were fabulous looking. There were more than enough of them to go around. But. Every single damn time we wanted something we had to play the staring game. Staring politely. Staring more urgently. Turning around in chairs and staring. Sighing and staring. Having that conversation about when is the right time to just shout 'Excuse me!' at the 10th waitress to walk directly past your table whilst earning an Olympic Gold (see what I did there) for deliberately avoiding meeting your eye despite being close enough to see right into your wanting soul. Watching huddles of said staff engaged in exciting looking conversations about last night in the corners of the bar with their backs turned to the entire dining contigent was really the final straw.
"EXCUUUUUUUSE MEEEEEE!"
Pah.
Not good enough.
Oscar's salvages the 2 points for looking lovely, being comfortable and having tasty grub at a good price but having worked in bars and restaurants from the age of 14-25 nothing irks me more than being deliberately ignored. If you are being paid to wait then no customer should be left wanting, whether they are your 'service' or not. Scuttling past diners with your eyes on the floor is downright lazy and turning your back on them to chat with your bessie mate for 10 minutes is downright unacceptable. If I could manage to wait tables efficiently at 14 Oscar's then your proper grown up staff can manage it now.
Rant over...but never out! MWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA! read more